Oh My Darling Serpentine
by PreventPersuadePervert
Summary: Scorpius is a secret cynic. He virtually has it all but nothing can please him anymore. In a moment of despair he discovers the one thing that may truly make him feel normal again. If normal exists. Companion story to Hell In A Handbasket read that first. /On Hold/.
1. Cracks

A/N: This is the companion story to my fanfiction, Hell In A Handbasket. That story isn't completed yet but you would need to read it before you read this. For every one chapter, its two chapters of Hell. This will contain language, angst, errors, drama, homosexuality, heterosexuality, AU-ness, etc. Hope you enjoy.

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><p>The summer before my fifth year had been an absolute nightmare.<p>

My mother the always the polished, refined type, started forcing me into holiday lessons. Not on anything interesting of course. Not a blasted subject that I enjoyed. She wanted me to have a literature tutor. One who would make me a "more cultured youth". It was a load of dung, to be brusque. I read enough during the school year. Enough to get the highest marks in my year in Slytherin. Not that it was a particularly challenging thing. Half my mates were still caught up in elementary wand waving.

So I spent every Monday, Wednesday, _and_ Friday with the dullest man on earth. Mr. Henry C. Spinterello. He had a bird like neck and an overbite. But the way my mother went on about him-, you would have thought Mr. Spinterello was some charming bloke with a sparkling personality. The truth was he had money. And an education. So he was hired to bore me into a stupor. I don't think he cared much whether or not I paid attention to the one on one lectures as long as I read the assigned novels. Most were Muggle written, which was kind of shocking to me. If my Grandfather knew what my Mother was impressing upon me, poor Mr. Spinterello would be no more.

My father's family was a touch beneath completely mental. My mother's family was a notch above an ice sculpture. Somehow, I turned out to be their most desired offspring. I wasn't bad at Quidditch. I did pretty well in my studies. I was even dating the girl I was set to marry before birth, Violet Desireé Nott.

The really pitiable thing was that I was so miserable. And I could not tell a soul about it.

No one in my family would understand. My friends, I don't think they had the capacity to understand that money and status doesn't buy happiness. At least, it wasn't doing it for me. I will admit that the Muggle literature grew on me. Shakespeare was the most enthralling, particularly _A Midsummer's Night Dream_. The wrong people falling in love, and even magic. It was actually shocking to know a Muggle could write such fascinating magical characters. It was the one I brought along to school with me in the fall. This was despite the fact that I had already read it several times over.

My schedule for fifth year was confusing to say the least. I had to be moved into a different Transfiguration because I was taking three electives, instead of just two. Not that it had been my idea. Mother had insisted to Headmistress Randolph that I be admitted into Ancient Runes, Divination, and Arithmacy. I was trapped by myself in the Gryffindor/Ravenclaw Transfiguration period. Of course I pleaded with the Head of House, Professor Wirland. But he agreed with my mother's bequest on the thought that I could handle it. Most times peoples assumptions came before my own desires.

One rainy Monday I was running late for class. I burst into Professor Turner's room with a loud bang. Gryffindor's eyed me up with reproach. I wouldn't be well liked even if I wasn't titled a Malfoy. I was Keeper for the house team and we'd beaten them last term for the cup. They irked me. I let my banging and clanging go over louder on purpose before I finally sat down. Turner was droning on about something dull as usual. He was a nice fellow, truly, but I could swear he was a cousin of Mr. Spinterello. I brought out my battered copy of _A Midsummer's Nights Dream _and began to read it beneath my desk.

Usually reading distracted me enough. But that morning I was really beginning to stress out. Violet was angry with me. Well, she always was. This time she actually had a legitimate reason. Over the summer holidays her parents had thrown her a birthday party at their manor house in Norway. I was invited of course. So was her ex-friend, Claudia Veerland. I hadn't meant what happened that evening. If you truly looked at it, nothing really happened at all…

"_Kiss me, Scorpius," _

_Claudia had convinced me to go on a stroll into the Nott's garden. I had drank a bit too much of the wine offered by her parents and now I was feeling flushed. Her request only made it worse. I didn't stop her from kissing me. It was how I felt that made me jump backwards. I was totally numb. Claudia was insanely beautiful. Perfect, full lips. Long legs that went on forever beneath her short skirt. She was tempting. To everyone but myself apparently. She couldn't turn me on one bit. Lately, nothing could. Did impotency hit fifteen year olds? If that was possible, I would guess that it was happening to me._

"_What's wrong with you?" her mouth creased into a frown. I tried to stare at the holly growing behind her._

"_I'm dating Violet. You should know better."_

_Claudia almost growled. "You belong with me…Vi's a selfish crow. She won't let any girls even talk to you."_

"_You weren't exactly talking just now, were you?" I said sharply._

_I could see the blush brighten her pale cheeks. "You liked snogging me at the Christmas party!"_

"_I also liked being pissed off my arse at the party…"_

_She rolled her eyes. "You are impossible…you really didn't feel anything that night,"_

"_What are you talking about?"_

"_You weren't turned on by it at all! You weren't tonight, either. I only came to see you…" Claudia said hopefully, batting her gigantic eyelashes in my direction._

_My body stiffened. Whatever looseness the wine had provided, evaporated._

"_I'm going back inside."_

_I left Claudia looking both positively murderous and pixie like beneath the yellow fogginess of the gas light._

What Violet heard once we returned to school was a very different explanation of events, via the gossip circuit. She heard we had nearly had sex right smack in the middle of her garden, but I had been too pissed to finish the deed. It was embarrassing sure, but untrue so what did I care? The only bad part was Violet's anger. She wouldn't talk with me and listen to reason. I wasn't some cheating lush. At least not yet. Being a lush would be a total cakewalk.

She still wasn't speaking to me the day of the Quidditch opener. We were playing against Gryffindor (as usual). I saw her right before I went down to the field with Martin Higgs. I tried getting her attention but she blew me off.

"What'd you go and do now?" Martin asked after Violet's cold shoulder had passed.

I shrugged. "I'm always doing something."

Flint, the captain, the Head Boy, the Slytherin king of kings, engaged us in the same speech he had used last term. The new third year Chaser we had acquired was the only one on the team actually listening. I wasn't fond of Flint, and he knew that. I had dated (and by dated, I mean we shagged once when I decided it was time to lose my virginity), his current girlfriend Cassie. He wasn't too thrilled I had made the team last year. I had no reason to hate him but I did anyway just because he hated me. That wasn't logical but he wasn't into logic, I suppose. I had to play by Flint's rules in more ways than one.

"Okay, and Malfoy…remember to block that Li Delarino Chaser. She's their best besides dodgy old Potter, but we know his tricks." Flint told me with a look that clearly told me he thought I was the shottiest Keeper he'd ever seen.

I bit the inside of my cheek and nodded. "I know."

"Alright team. Let's kick their arses once again,"

That familiar buzz of excitement slowly grew in the pit of my stomach. It was a pretty good feeling, Quidditch. Sex wasn't fun for me lately so this was as close to it as I would get. I took off on my broom and easily blocked the beginning shot made by none other than Alexa Li Delarino. She wasn't bad looking for a red head. She had gigantic tits at any rate. Not a bad shot either. But I blocked both of her starting goals, and heard nothing but angry groans coming from beside me.

Of course she was bound to get past me. Our Beaters were really a joke. I sighed inwardly when the Quaffle sped through my left hoop like a bullet.

"…right into the hands of the _gorgeous _Gryffindor Alexa Li Delarino, who, of course, makes a brilliant goal right through the left side of Keeper, _'Doesn't Let You Scor' _Malfoy."

Lorcan Scamander irritated me beyond belief. He had people wear t-shirts with his face plastered all over them. He wasn't even that good at commentating. Although I guess that was the point. Alexa scored on me twice before I blocked her again. Flint was glaring daggers at me the entire match. He would blame me, of course, if we lost. And he did, right after their Seeker caught the snitch twenty minutes later. It was the shortest game between the houses in a decade. I descended for the field with Flint hounding my heels.

"You didn't use the block maneuver we went over, Malfoy. We went over it like a thousand times-,"

"Blame that bloody redhead! I can't always be responsible. Our Beaters need work. And Ursula can't play Seeker, she's dead weight and you know it."

Flint got in my face then. "She's a fair Seeker. You lost us this game."

I glared back at him. "It. Was. Their. New. Chaser. You under estimated her by a long shot,"

"I didn't fucking underestimate that slut Li Delarino!"

Madame Hickens blew her whistle right into my left ear. "Foul, Malfoy! I heard that repulsive language. I think a ten point start for your next opposition is in order,"

"Excuse me? I didn't-,"

"Want it to be twenty?" Hickens cocked her thin eyebrow at me.

I said nothing and left the field without changing. I had been mad before we played but that had made everything worse. I went and changed into my regular school robes from the day before. They were the first things I had came across in my trunk. I kind of wanted to have a pity party for myself, but that wasn't like me. I just took whatever came my way and accepted it. Usually. Few things made me uneasy. Like the Violet situation, for example. I ended up falling asleep until way past midnight. I awoke to a silent dorm. I crept out of bed to see everyone had went to sleep already. Even Higgs. I went into the Common Room expecting it to be vacant. I loved the strange, green glow the room possessed. I felt like a ghost drifting within the dim light from the lake's bottom.

"Scorpius?" Violet's chilly voice came from the circle of armchairs beside the fireplace.

I groaned inwardly. I should have been more careful. "Yes, its me."

Violet was sitting with a friend whose name I couldn't recall. She got out of her chair, still wearing the tight jeans and shirt she had worn to the game that morning. Usually the sight of her arse in anything tight meant it was time to find an abandoned classroom. Tonight it meant nothing to me.

"Want to go talk?"

Her coldness was for once music to my ears. "Let's go."

We walked side by side in total silence. It wasn't awkward. I was just happy she wasn't ignoring me anymore. We ended up in a small chamber near Ravenclaw's west tower. They had the worst castle views. It was all forest and greenery. I shut the chamber door and lit a few candles beside a tapestry of some wizard holding a glass stopper and bottle. When I came back to Violet, my heart almost stopped. Two wet lines of tears were streaming down her cheeks.

"Vi…"

"I can't believe you would do something like this, Scorpius…"

I looked down at the floor, breathing softly. "I didn't, I swear…she came onto me."

Violet rolled her gigantic green eyes and uncharacteristically wiped her nose on her shirt sleeve. "You can't expect me to-, what was that noise?"

I found myself almost bearing my teeth. "I don't know…I didn't hear anything,"

Violet kept staring at the door to the chamber, then to the small stained glass window. I sighed softly. I did care about her, in a way. I just wasn't sure if it was the same as it had always been. Actually, I knew something was changing. And that something was unfortunately me.

"I didn't mean to hurt you. It isn't like she meant anything…we didn't do, I swear we didn't, Violet…"

Her little chest puffed up as she looked at me spitefully. "Claudia used to be my friend…why would you do that to me? After all I went through with her…"

I sighed softly. "All I can do is apologize."

Violet's eyes narrowed and her words became as harsh as she was, "Claudia told everyone in our dorm that the only reason you two didn't shag was because you couldn't even _get on with it! _And then you blamed it on the fact that you were 'so in love with me', that's dragon's shit. And you know it!"

She was particularly screaming at me. I looked away, feeling everything inside me slowly crack. I wonder how many cracks I could handle before I shattered all together.

"I do. I do love you." _'I want to. I want to love you,'_

Her face unhardened a little and she took my hand in hers, lacing our fingers together. I went to kiss her damp cheek when the door of the chamber slammed shut.

"Nice. A voyeur ghost. I hope he doesn't tattle to Peeves." Violet complained. I squeezed her hand making her smile.

"Let's just leave then, before we're caught." I kissed her gently on the mouth and guided her back to the common room.

I wanted to give her my heart, really. I just didn't know there was a heart to give anymore.

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><p>AN: The story's title is a play off the American folk song, "Oh My Darling Clementine." I wanted a corny sounding title like the phrase I used for Hell In A Handbasket. I wasn't sure if people would notice the reference so I thought I'd mention it.


	2. Wrong

A/N: Thanks for the reviews :).

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><p>Autumn was always the worst time of the year for me. I had the strangest schedule out of anyone in my dorm and I never had time to do anything but to study or play Quidditch. I wasn't even in a lot of fifth year classes. They placed me into seventh year Arithmacy, much to the dismay of Robert Flint of course. We had been acquaintances verging on enemies ever since I had arrived at Hogwarts. Everyone thought we were friends so we both let people assume. Our fathers were mates and worked together at the Ministry. There wasn't much either of us could do about hating each other except for the occasional exchange of insults.<p>

Halloween rolled around too quickly. I was up to my neck in essays for Potions and Transfiguration, but Violet insisted on sneaking down to some party in the dungeons with her friends. I utterly detested parties. I didn't fancy her friends, either.

"Just _one_ night. You can spare one night for me, can't you?" Violet asked impatiently, tapping her tiny high heeled shoe off the cold stone of the Common Room floor.

I nodded stiffly. I had no intentions of staying past one in the morning. "I thought only Ravenclaws were invited?"

Violet shook her head, her hair was braided into a tight plait adorned with a shiny silver clip.

"Everyone in fifth year or older."

I resisted a good sigh. "Where's Farah then?"

Farah Dolohov and Sanotine Zabini came down from their respective dorms a moment later. Farah had replaced Claudia in Violet's order of friends. Sanotine was dating her, but happened to be shagging half a dozen other girls. That was just how most of the Slytherins worked. When Violet grasped my arm in the corridor, I felt my whole body stiffen. I felt so wrong beside her. Everything in me screamed that I should stay far away from Violet. But my brain disagreed. I had been told my entire life that I needed to be with her. So I would do that. I always did what I was told.

"Why so tense, Scorpius darling? Need a massage?" Violet purred into my ear as we entered a crowded dungeon. It was located deep within the bowels of the school.

I shook my head and tried my best to smile. Violet's teeth sunk into my earlobe. It felt like poison began to spread in my body.

"I need a drink."

I broke away from the small group and didn't bother looking at my girlfriend's annoyed glares as I left. I took the first drink anyone offered me. It was clear and bitter and tasted like cleaning solution. I downed two of them in seconds. My head began to fog a little, but I ignored the side effects. This would be my only chance in months to get in some good self medication time. Violet eventually found me, a tall purple glowing cup in her tiny hand.

"Aw baby, why did you leave me by myself?" Violet rubbed her hip up against my left side. The smell of strong alcohol already tainted her breath.

I chose to say nothing. Instead I gulped down another shot. "Let's walk around…"

Violet happily tugged me along. The dungeon was positively freezing. No one seemed to care about that though. Black and orange candles lit the ancient candelabras. Heavy, thumping music played from a slender wireless in the corner. There were a few people from every house, all from years five through seven. Flint was hitting on some Hufflepuff in the tiniest skirt I had ever seen. It took me a few minutes to realize she was dressed up like a fairy. In fact, quite a few of the girls were wearing Halloween costumes. It was utterly tacky. The shameless ones barely had on any clothes at all for their costume. Violet took my disgusted staring the wrong way and began to pout.

"Stop staring at all the girls, Scorpius. You are here with me!"

"I don't stare at other girls."

She frowned and pulled me behind a small wall. A few couples were snogging back there. Like a machine I began to kiss Violet's soft neck. She breathed a little into my ear, licking along its shell. I squeezed her backside and slid my hands under her black skirt. She was pretty. And of course attractive enough to be fondling. But I didn't want Violet. I mechanically rubbed my fingers against the thin fabric of her panties, only to hear a too familiar purr in my ear. I wasn't sure what I was looking for anymore. I needed something more to hold onto. I needed someone who I could be rough with. If I did that with Violet I would probably shatter her petite frame into pieces. I pulled away from her body. I didn't want her. I couldn't even fake it for myself anymore.

"I need to take a leak," I tried putting on my best pissed voice. It passed.

"Okay, but don't be too long," Violet winked and kissed my chest.

I walked quickly out of the party and found myself half running up the staircase towards the basement. I wouldn't be going back to the party. I just had to make up some story about getting caught by a professor or maybe another prefect. I didn't stop moving until I reached a lonely, dark corridor.

"Bloody women,"

A nagging, screeching voice tore right through my eardrum. "Whatchu sayin' about women, boy?"

I glanced at the wall. There was a tall portrait of a haggish looking witch. "I'm..er…sorry?"

"You better be, child. I don't take kindly to young men bein' rude to any woman,"

"She's being…all she does is complain. And question everything I do. I don't run around on her," I had no clue why I was talking to this accursed painting. The sad part is that she began to look sorry for me.

"Some birds you just have to let out of the cage, child."

I nodded. "I guess you-," I stopped mid-sentence. Someone was walking through the shadows.

He was tall with shaggy auburn hair and dark, evergreen eyes. I knew him instantly of course. Almost everyone knew the Potter children by their full names. James, the older one, was kind of a school hero. Lily was their little sister and the best student in third year. Albus…I admired him the most. He was a crude, unfeeling, apathetic nobody. I had always wanted to be nobody. Then I wouldn't have to pre-program everything I did. Al walked right into the dim candlelight wearing a set of old ratty pajamas.

"Happy Halloween, Albus." I greeted him. I tried to sound pleasant but he looked put off right away. In fact he gaped at me like a stunned troll.

"Uh, same to you?" he kind of yelped.

I looked him up and down, my eyes focused in on the weird bulge in his pocket. It looked like he had shoved a whole sweater in there or something.

"What are you doing down here? It's after hours, you know."

Al's eyes honed in on the prefect's badge pinned to my cloak. I knew I should have removed the stupid scrap of metal but I had forgotten. Suddenly the boy seemed miffed with my presence.

"I was strapping dung bombs underneath all the basement toilets." Albus sneered at me.

I mentally rolled my eyes at his attempt at sarcasm. "Really?" I cocked my eyebrow.

"No."

"I should write you up. But that isn't my thing."

I heard him snort as I sunk down into a small niche in the wall. The little witch in the portrait had vanished.

"What are you doing in the basement?"

Al's voice invaded my thoughts. I had been gazing so hard at the witch's painting that I had nearly burned a hole into the canvas.

"I was actually supposed to meet people for this Halloween…dungeon…thing. I just left," I vaguely could sense Violet's lips still on me. I smelt of her perfume.

Albus stared at the painting with me. "If you don't mind me asking…uh, what were you talking to her-," he pointed to the blank canvas, "-about?"

I rubbed hard at the back of my neck. Violet's tiny teeth marks were in my skin. "Nothing."

"Don't be so shy, child!" The old witch had returned and nearly scared us both lily white.

"Er…" Al coughed awkwardly.

"He's havin' women troubles, aren't you deary? Poor lad!" she began to chuckle loudly.

"Ah, right," I sighed softly. I was mortified to have Potter hear what I couldn't tell my own friends. I had never even spoken to the boy before.

I started to watch him. He was lanky. No muscle or anything. His legs were long, slender and thinner than two twigs. His chest was narrow and his shoulders were narrower. Albus had the body of a prepubescent girl. I doubted that he would grow out of it, either. I think the athletic gene had skipped him. He wasn't ugly though. Far from that. He had the most prefect facial features. Soft lips. His hands looked callused and there was artist charcoal stained onto his palms and fingers. I caught myself looking and tried to glance away.

"You best be getting to your dorm, Al."

I watched as he almost ran out of the corridor without saying goodnight. I had no clue as to why, but having him leave so quickly gave me an empty feeling deep inside. I shook it off and left for my own dorm. All thoughts of Violet and her dreadful party had thankfully drifted to places unknown.

The next morning I pretended to have a hangover. I should have really considered an acting career, because Violet ate it up. She kissed my forehead and said she had missed me a great deal. If she was lying, I actually didn't care.

We walked to breakfast arm in arm but for once it wasn't irritating. I was too busy thinking about Albus Potter. It was a strange topic for my brain, truly. But I couldn't help it. Whenever I tried focusing on homework or something else meaningless, my mind floated away towards the previous night. His strange little quirks. That weird sweater pocket bulge. Plus, he had never really told me why he had been in the basement.

I walked into the Great Hall rather late and surrounded by Slytherins. I spied Albus sitting with some pretty blonde Ravenclaw, their heads together and deep in conversation. However, when Al looked at me his eyes bugged out a little and he faced forward. I watched him as I started to eat my eggs. His back was tense. I could see the thin muscles twitch beneath his stark white shirt. I was watching him so closely that Violet had to almost punch me in order to get my attention.

"You aren't even listening! What's wrong with you this morning?" she nearly growled.

I shrugged and swallowed my toast too hard. I wasn't just wrong in the morning. I was wrong every afternoon and night as well.


	3. Charcoal

A/N: A Thank you to anyone reading!

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><p>November settled in eventually, as did the cold weather. That pleased me more than anything. I hate when the temperature can change fifty times in the same day. I liked when cold stayed cold. Violet was rather cold herself. She had stopped questioning me every two minutes about what I was thinking, but she had adapted to giving me icy looks when I stopped nodding during her gossip rants. It was becoming too complicated to even pretend to pay attention.<p>

I didn't run into Potter again until after my birthday on the fifteenth. I was heading to lunch with Zabini and Higgs, ignoring the stupid conversation between them. They wouldn't stop crowding me everywhere we went, so I purposely kicked one of them in the back of their legs when we walked around the bend. It went completely unnoticed.

Albus was with that tall, leggy blonde bird that he was always with. She was a fair sight but she looked about as interesting to talk to as Violet. They seemed to be bickering as they practically ran past me towards the door to the Great Hall. The blonde was dragging her feet and Albus yanked her through the entrance by her sleeves. It was kind of amusing to see.

That weekend Hufflepuff was playing Ravenclaw, and Violet begged me to go down to the pitch with her and her ridiculous friends.

"I wish I could love but I have two more essays to finish..."

"On a Saturday?" Violet whined, her voice becoming progressively squeakier as she pleaded.

I nodded, almost thanking Turner for giving out such detailed assignment on a weekend.

"I'm already behind."

She sighed miserably, much like a damsel in distress, and shrugged. "I guess I'll just have to sit with Farah and Martin and Robert…"

The mention of Flint in her sentence was purely to annoy me. She was trying to be manipulative. She was one of the few people who knew just how much I actually hated him. I let my blood boil silently. I would never let a woman know that her sick game had actually worked.

"Oh alright. Have fun." I said nonchalantly and went back to writing my essay on silencing charms.

Violet looked murderous when Farah came down to walk with her to the pitch. It was a small victory for me in a long term war with my girlfriend. I ended up almost finishing when Flint came down from the dormitories. We were alone in the Common Room.

"Mornin, Scor. Where's the pretty little Violet at? She asked me to be her date today, since you ended up _not being fit for the job_," Flint bared his large, uneven teeth in a ghastly grimace.

Anger fluttered over my body. I stood up so fast I knocked over all my papers and books.

"She left. Without you, of course."

"She's probably waiting for me then. You'll never keep a girl like that, you know. She's already slipping right into my lap."

Fury burst in me like an aneurysm. My entire being surged with hot adrenaline as I brought my wand out of my pocket.

"Watch it, Malfoy. I'm Head Boy. You'll be spending an eternity in detention." Flint scolded me as if I were a toddler, yet his wand was pointed level with my own.

I lowered it and looked away. "Get out of my face, Flint."

Right as the arrogant little twat exited the wall, he spat over his shoulder, "Claudia thinks that maybe your playing in the wrong field, if you get what I mean!"

That had done it for me. Usually I don't take bait from moronic drones like Flint, but his crack against my sexuality burned more than anything else he had said. I sprinted out of the room only to see his cloak whipping up the staircase behind him. I smirked devilishly, surprising myself as I took my wand back out of my trouser pocket. Leave it to Flint to make me want to commit a murder.

I followed him all the way outside, beneath a huge window on the north side of Hogwarts. No one else was around that I could see, so it really was the ideal place for a dual.

"Get away from me, Malfoy." Flint yelled over his shoulder while walking towards the paddock that would cut him through to the Quidditch fields.

I sent a curse at his back, making him fly right into the paddock's iron gate. "You're sniveling little coward, that's what you are."

Flint righted himself and shot a curse back at me, but it missed and hit the castle wall. "I'm going to get you off the team if you keep this up."

"I fucked your girlfriend, get over it." I glowered, knowing that was the only reason he had to hate me so much.

He was probably about a head shorter than me, despite being two years older. He locked his dirt colored eyes in with mine and almost spit at me. "She forgot about you, you know."

"It's impossible to forget me, Flint," I stared right back at him. Our chests bumped off each other. I had never been involved in such a cliché, masculine row.

He just gave a sarcastic little laugh and turned away. _I won. _"Stay out of my way round' here, Scor. Your daddy would never approve of you biting off more than you can chew."

I said nothing. I was too afraid that the next words out of my mouth would rearrange themselves into an Unforgivable curse. Flint stalked off towards the pitch and I headed back into the castle to finish my essay and hopefully down the rest of the firewhiskey I had nicked from my father's liquor cabinet in peace.

Flint was the one staying out of my path for the next few weeks. I let Violet cling to me merely to frustrate him further. I'd do most anything to irritate Robert Flint. Of course, I was soon paying for my sins. Violet dragged me out in the bitter cold for a shopping trip down in Hogsmeade. There was no getting out of it, either. Ever since I blew her off on the Quidditch match, I was in hot water.

"I already know what I'm going to get you for Christmas, Scorpius. You'll love it." Violet said as we walked arm in arm down the village streets.

The previous Christmas she had purchased a locket for me with her picture in it. It was probably the most embarrassing gift I had ever received. Luckily no one knew of its existence, or I would have been forced to parade around in it. I highly doubted she could do worse that coming holiday, so I just nodded and grinned.

We walked past the Three Broomsticks on our way to Madame Puddifoot's tea shop. I would have given my left testicle to be warm and inside the more popular bar. Particularly since I could see Albus Potter sitting snuggly inside with his blonde Ravenclaw bird. He was sipping a butterbeer, which I also would have sacrificed body parts for right about then. I could tell he spotted me because his eyes narrowed instantly. Why did he hate me so much? Not that I should care, really. But I knew I did.

"Quit dragging your feet or we won't get a table!" Violet's tiny hand clawed my arm as she pulled me away from the pub window.

"So fiery today," I commented blandly.

Violet emitted a giggle like that was the funniest thing she had heard in her life. She never could tell when I was bored with her. I heaved the several shopping bags over my shoulder and followed her into the tacky tea parlor. The windows were fogged up from the tea steam. Mistletoe nearly glowed from every table in the store. It was all couples in here, strictly the balls and chains. I winced when Violet forced me down into one of the tiny wrought iron chairs. It was insanely uncomfortable, considering I was shoved up against the wall by a small horde of Christmas present purchases.

"This place is so romantic." Violet said with a breathy sigh. I let her hold my hand while I drank down the bitter tea.

"At least its warm in here," I almost barked. A few girls sitting around us glared in my direction. I was starting to let my mood ruin my upbringing and refinement.

Violet was staring at me as well. "Hush, Scorpius."

I did as she told me and stopped talking. She prattled on about new pea coats and earrings and a holiday house in Portugal. I just stared at her face and burned my mouth on my tea. Things just weren't getting better for me. I had been praying that I could get out of the hole I was hiding in under the passage of time, but no such luck. There was an itch that worsened every time I was forced into hanging around Violet. I had no clue what would be the remedy for satisfying the itch.

Guess I'd have to scratch.

I managed to escape from Violet after I brought in all ten thousand of her shopping bags. I hid behind Martin Higgs and rushed upstairs to my dorm, shutting the door with a sigh of relief. I flopped into bed and waited for the silence of sleep. However, I never quite got there. I tossed and turned for what seemed like several hours. When I finally awoke from my fevered flopping, my clock only read midnight. I hissed a few curse words into the darkness around my bed.

"Behave, Scorpius," whispered Jack Rosewire.

Everyone always reacted so oddly when I let out a swear word. I rolled my eyes even though none of them could see anyway. I slipped out of bed and finally undressed, pulling pajama bottoms over my exposed rear-end. I never wore underwear when I went to bed. It just seemed kind of pointless. Especially if I woke up and had to take a leak. My legs were feeling rather restless, so I pulled my trainers and robe on and left the dorm without saying anything to Rosewire. The Common Room was empty, which struck me as rather strange. It was a weekend, and everyone was asleep? I doubted that.

I exited the blank stone wall passageway and started up towards the basement. I froze when I realized what had happened there just a month ago. A lanky, auburn haired boy with forest green eyes sprung up in my mind's eye. Potter. I hadn't been able to stop thinking about that boy in weeks. Why, Merlin knew. He was probably the most irritating little puke I had ever seen. He was only sarcastic because he had middle child syndrome. A famous family and two siblings with tons of talent, and none to spare on Albus. I lit my wand and slowly crept up the stairs to the corridor off the hall to the kitchens. I had a weird déjà vu feeling in my gut. Sure enough, when I rounded the bend, someone was already there waiting for me.

I shined my wand light in his face. "Albus Potter?"

"No, Albus Dumbledore," he blinked hard as the light hit his huge green eyes. "Get your wand away from me,"

I pointed it down, trying not to laugh. "Sorry. _Nox_,"

Now the only light came from a yellow candle inside a wall sconce. Albus was staring at me, or rather, straight through me. It was the same look I gave Violet when she was boring me to death. Seeing it on Al's face kind of made me feel lower than dirt.

"What are you doing down here…again?"

I shrugged. "Bored. Wanted to go for a walk,"

Albus nodded, thankfully taking his penetrating stare off of my face. I wasn't free for long. His eyes drifted up to my bare chest, and I could swear I saw him almost blush. Did he like blokes? It was a bit of a jump, but it would explain a lot. All of his friends were girls. He even looked like a girl. In a transvestite, anorexic kind of way. Albus had on really repulsive gray plaid pajama bottoms and some t-shirt with a funny logo. He even donned a set of bunny slippers. I hid my smile with a small cough.

"Wait-," I decided to bring up Halloween, foolish decision of course. "We met down here before, haven't we? Why are _you_ down here? Pretty far for a Gryffindor,"

Albus rolled his eyes. "I'm not the only person out, Malfoy." His voice positively dripped with loathing when he spoke my name. "There's a whole squad of Hufflepuffs getting down in the library,"

"How do you know?" The boy always knew more than any normal student should.

"I'm a certified genius."

I had to laugh. Everything out of this kid was a crabby, brat retort. I leaned up against the portrait of fruit that hid the kitchens, still chuckling at Albus.

"You are something. Not anything like your brother though, no. A whole different creature."

He gaped at me and once again reminded me of a dying fish. _"Creature?"_

I snorted a little and was surprised when I swore in front of him. "James Potter is an arrogant fuck, no offense. He's got mad skills on the pitch, I'll give him that,"

Albus came away from the light a little, towards me. I could smell him from where I was standing, which completely swayed me. It wasn't a girly scent. Albus smelled like fresh ink and kind of like smoke, charcoal probably. I inhaled deeply and hoped he didn't just see me _smell _him.

"He's arrogant about most things." Albus seemed so shy when talking about James. I never would have thought he'd protect that git, but they were family.

I decided to test him. Pushing buttons was my favorite thing to do with hot tempered Gryffindors. "I'm sure. You're not. You seem almost skittish…like a mouse," I flashed him a smile.

He didn't have any reaction, which was somewhat of a letdown for me. "Not skittish, careful. I'm not arrogant, but I'm rude. We have that in common,"

So now I was letting Albus Potter give me put downs? I had to tease him back. "You don't seem very rude. I think you're just shy,"

That definitely pushed a button in Al. "_Shy? _I am not shy. I just hate everyone,"

I found myself laughing at him again, which only infuriated him further. "Obviously not. You hang out with that _gorgeous_ Ravenclaw bird,"

"Athena," Albus rolled his eyes. "She's an idiot."

I just shrugged. Time to give him a lesson in logic. "Pretty face outranks common sense. Usually."

Al puffed himself up. The poor dear actually looked a tad bit taller. I found myself staring at his protruding collar bone. He looked so pearly white in the darkness. As though his skin didn't have any flaws.

"I'd rather have a brain _not_ attached to the end of a make up brush, to be honest." He snapped.

I stepped a bit closer to Albus, backing him up towards a wall. It was amusing to watch him start to fidget with his beautiful, dark red hair. He tugged on the lower strands, keeping those big green eyes focused on the ground.

"You're pretty funny, Albus."

He whispered, "Does wit outrank pretty face or common sense?" I wondered what in the hell I was doing to make another boy whisper so softly.

We were so close to one another that we were almost touching. I could smell his smoky, charcoal smell much better when I leaned in closer to his hair. My arms pinned the smaller boy against the wall. The scratchy material of his robe rubbed gently at my skin. Gods, Albus had an amazing scent. His eyes positively glowed as my face burrowed into his neck. I had no clue what I was doing. I looked at Albus, and was met with an expression of frozen fear. He wanted me to back off. I was way past invading his personal space. But it was much too late. The puppet strings that usually guided my every move weren't working tonight. I captured Potter's lips with my own. It was quite obvious he hadn't ever kissed anyone before. This gave me a sick pleasure. I wanted to claim his mouth as mine.

I forced Al harder against the wall. He brought his leg up to my waist and I pulled him closer towards me. I was on the frightening edge of just convincing Albus to go to bed with me when a loud noise came from the end of the basement corridor. It sounded like a door slam. I pushed myself away from Potter, looking at him crumple in a heap on the ground. What had I done? _What had I done?_

I ran down the hallway away from Albus. I nearly fell down the stairs trying to get back to my dorm. I had just kissed a bloke. I had just thought about fucking a bloke.

When I laid in bed, I realized the miserable truth. Kissing Albus had scratched my itch. Only now, I had more than one itch for him to touch.

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><p>AN: I'm probably going to be posting a new story, with a Albus/Teddy, Albus/Lorcan feel to it. Only it will be dirtier. Not anything like this Albus. Oh, it will technically have shota in it haha. So look out for that if you're interested.


	4. Deviant

A/N: Thanks for the reviews!

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><p>"I do hope you've been doing well in your courses, Scorpius. You won't ever be able to get into law without perfect test scores," my mother lectured me for about the millionth time.<p>

We were sitting down to Christmas eve dinner. There was no party or fun celebration. My parents would be attending a gathering that following night with Violet's parents. That meant I would be coerced into spending the evening with Violet, alone. They knew we had already had sex. They just didn't bring it up. I don't even think they cared that it had happened. As long as we produced some children and ended up in the limelight during our careers. My grandparents and aunt were also having Christmas eve dinner at old Malfoy Manor. It was probably the most boring event of the year.

I swallowed down a mouthful of dry bread. Bits of it stuck to my throat and gave me an excuse to gulp my water before I answered her.

"I know Mother. I've already heard that I'm the top student in almost all my classes…"

"Almost?" My grandfather inquired nosily. He was scary in his old age. Stark white hair, blinding silver eyes. I prayed every night that I wouldn't grow into that.

I nodded, not able to look at him directly. "In Ancient Runes…Rose Weasley has surpassed me in marks."

My father laughed, snorting uncharacteristically into his wine glass. "I bet she's just like her mother. A know it all."

Grandfather sent him a rather crazed stare. "You couldn't beat her in any subject, Draco."

"Enough." My Grandmother warned. She was tight lipped and rarely ever spoke during meal times. She also never approved of my father's willingness to speak ill of the Weasley family. Or of the Potters.

Thinking of Al made me sick inside. I wasn't sure what to feel. Part of me felt frightened. I knew he probably wouldn't tell anyone what I had done. Especially since he was so willing to kiss me back. That was the worst part of the whole thing. I hadn't expected the boy to kiss back. Maybe part of me had wanted him to push me away, to look at me in fear or hatred. Al had only clung to my back. As if he had wanted more from it. I set down my fork and wiped my mouth clean on the stark white napkin.

I hated the holidays. I would have killed to have stayed at Hogwarts for Christmas. It would be quiet. I could skip the trip to Violet's château. I could be at peace. Plus, I knew that Albus wouldn't be at school. I could walk the corridors without fear. At home, I was constantly on edge.

Grandfather glared sharply at his wife before turning the conversation onto politics. My father was employed by the Ministry of Magic in the Magical Law Department. He was about to become the head of it to boot. That would be why I was forced towards a law career since before I came down the birth canal. It wasn't even close to what I wanted to do. Actually, I had no clue what I really wanted out of my life. I just preformed for people without asking questions. Existence went smoother that way.

"May I please be excused?" I spoke suddenly in the middle of my father's words.

"And-, Oh. Yes, Scorpius." My father stared up at me as I had already stood up from the table.

"Thank you. I'm a bit tired, so Happy Christmas everyone." I gave a curt nod to my Aunt Daphne, whom I only saw once a year. Once a year was enough when it came to my entire family.

They delved right back into their conversation before I had even left the dining room. I sprinted down the long, winding corridor that would take me to the spiral staircase near the kitchen. There was a portrait that hung right before the stairs. It was a teenage image of my late Aunt Bellatrix Lestrange. Considering her history it seemed strange that my house would contain her likeness. It sneered at me as I rushed up the staircase. I had been home only a few weeks, but I had spent almost all of that time in my room or in the study. If I didn't I would have surely been roped into some horrible activity, like shopping with my mum or going into my father's office for an entire afternoon.

I flopped right into my bed and gazed up at the domed ceiling. It was an oval shaped room that seemed endless when you looked up. I had a small balcony and my own loo, so it wasn't so bad in retrospect. I had insisted on a large round bed instead of the room's original ornately carved four poster. The sheets were soft, and clean, all turned down as they were every evening for me. I was privileged. I knew that. I came from the upper upper class and I was punished constantly for my surname's infamous history. I didn't act like my father. But he wasn't like my grandfather, either. He had no problem marrying my mother, a half blood witch with a Muggle mother. My Grandfather had never gotten over it. He was always waiting for them to have some kind of huge row so he could suggest a divorce.

I crawled under my warm blankets and made a cocoon for myself so I could still see the view outside of my huge window. After my mother miscarried two baby girls, my Grandfather accepted that I would be his only grandchild. Everyone enjoyed putting all their hopes on my shoulders. That's why they wanted me to marry Violet and go into law. They wanted a do over from my father's "mistakes."

Well, I often thought about what I could do if I chose not to be the male Malfoy they had always desired. What if I wanted to become a nomadic man of the mountains? Live off of nature and all that. I know I would probably die in a week, but they would still be completely scandalized. I detested the fact that I had an inheritance waiting for me. Maybe I could donate it all to a Muggle charity. Or just throw it all into the sea and then dive in after it. I knew that I wouldn't do any of those things, but they were fun situations to imagine when I was alone, shut up in my house. I sighed into my pillow. It was too hot under all my blankets, so I tugged off my sweater and tight buttoned shirt. I managed to nearly fling my tie right out the crack in the window. Then I tugged down my trousers and pushed them out of my cocoon onto the ground. That was loads better. I settled back into my soft haven, still lost in thought.

Perhaps I could just start fucking Albus Potter. That would really burn my family. That meant no heirs. No marriage. The family lineage would end at me. Oh gods I almost wanted it to happen. I would surely lose my inheritance, and maybe I'd even get what I had wanted since I was seven- disowned. I started laughing under my blankets. I wasn't sure if I fancied blokes. I mean, I had kissed Potter. But what did that even mean? I never thought about any other boy like that before. Just him. The snogging had been the best I had in forever.

I could still feel his narrow chest breathing crazily up against mine. Albus had given in so easily to my demands. I wondered, had I continued that night, if he would have been so compliant with more? I pictured fisting my hand through his dark, long, auburn hair while pounding my cock deep in his arse…perhaps in a loo or over a desk or just right there in that damn corridor. I didn't even notice that my thoughts were making me hard. I just chose to react by slipping my cock out of my underwear and rubbing my palm against it.

I imagined Albus to be vocal during sex. Clawing, panting…I wondered if he would bite. I loved the idea of his teeth sinking into any part of my flesh. I sat up on my bed, the blankets sliding down around my naked hips and backside. The cold air only made my prick swell. I moved my cock harder in my hand, squeezing down on the head when I reached it. Albus would probably love my bed. It was five times the size of most normal mattresses. I visualized him under me, looking as innocent as ever and waiting for my dick to push through his tight virgin arse…

It didn't take me very long to shoot a load all over my clean pillow. I came while moaning, gasping. I had never even been that turned on when Violet and I had sex. Realizing that scared me beyond comprehension. I just sat naked in my bed, my soft cock wet up against my thigh. Slowly, I came down from the weird, intoxicating high that had been induced by just thinking about Albus Potter. I quickly pulled on some pajamas that were laying in the mess on my bedroom floor. Usually I had no problem being naked. But then I just felt horribly exposed even with no one around me. I ran over to my desk which sat in front of my window. I grabbed one of the Christmas cards I had drawn while at school and began to scribble down what I hoped would send a very stern message:

_Al-,_

_I hope you are having an enjoyable holiday. I wanted to apologize for our last encounter. I can assure you it will never happen again. I was desperately out of sorts. I never spoke of it to anyone and I strongly advise you to do the same._

_Best Wishes,_

_- Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy._

I read over it quickly and threw it into an envelope. I half ran out of my room, tearing down the long, dark hallway towards the small owlery in the back of the house. We had four owls. I was obsessed with my father's snowy owl, Gwendolyn.

"Take this now…I know its Christmas eve but it must make it there by morning-, alright?" I petted her beak with my finger. She nipped it affectionately and flew out into the inky black sky.

I watched as it began to snow slowly onto the lower turrets of the Manor. I began to freeze out in the open air. But I didn't take notice for quite some time. I needed to calm down, to numb myself to the situation. I couldn't like blokes. I couldn't fancy Albus. In my mind, I washed my hands of what would come from him opening that letter on Christmas morning.

My Christmas, of course, ended up being the worst I had in a long time.

I woke up that morning still feeling the aftershock of what I had done. It seemed kind of silly, but I couldn't look at the pillow I had soaked. I just hid it under my bed and prayed it would vanish somehow. I showered quickly without even noticing the two parcels sitting on my window sill. I usually had all of my presents delivered to the owlery. I only ever received money from family and candy from friends or acquaintances. That was because I rarely spoke about my interests around people. I liked art but I loved to read. But I had never been sent a book before. It was kind of a dream for me. I opened the larger package first. It was an expensive looking sweater from Violet. Figuring she would be in a right state if I didn't wear it to their holiday house, I tugged it on. It was insanely itchy. Of course it was. I threw the card away without opening it. Just seeing an envelope reminded me of the one I had sent to Al. I had, literally, written him off. And gods-, knowing that made me feel so dreadful.

The second package was from Claudia, which I found quite peculiar. She had purchased for me a fancy set of racing broom clippers. There was no card. I wanted to burn the gift. She was still expecting me to speak to her, after what she had went and said to people? I tossed the wrappings on my bed along with the clippers. I would deal with them after I dealt with Violet.

My parents had set up a portkey to the Nott's manor. I didn't mind portkeys. Anything was better than using the Floo. I grasped the silver comb beside my mother, who was all dolled up in bright red lip stain and a deep, evergreen dress. She was so intensely pale that the blood scarlet color on her mouth gave her lips a wounded appearance. My father wasn't much better. A black cloak with dark clothes hidden beneath all the expensive dragon hide. I had just thrown on some everyday trousers to wear with the sweater from hell. Maybe Violet had cursed the blasted material. I wouldn't have put it past her.

"Desiree!" My mother exclaimed as we approached the iron gates. It was a lot warmer here than it had been in Scotland. I should have anticipated that, but I hadn't really been thinking clearly. Violet was standing with her mother and sister. She looked like a doll in a lacy white dress and boots. Her hair was done in long, ringlet curls adorned with bows. My skin almost crawled just seeing her stare at me through the fence.

"Scorpius!" Violet called. Her mother beamed as if having a dependent, simpering beauty queen for a daughter was the crown jewel to her existence.

I forced a smile onto my face as she launched her tiny body into my arms. I picked her up off the ground for emphasis. That always put Vi in a good mood.

"I missed you," I whispered into her ear. She never seemed to notice how my voice would falter.

Violet giggled into my ear. "Well when we go up to my room you won't have to keep missing me,"

I had assumed as much. Last year Violet had convinced me to go 'play' with her in her pink, frilly bedroom. The entire place smelled like intense floral perfume.

"Happy Christmas, dear," Desiree Nott kissed both of my cheeks. Her husband shook my hand and beamed at my parents and I.

I wondered if telling him that I was about to go shag the shit out of his daughter would put a damper on his cheery attitude?

Violet put on her best, 'I'm an innocent child' face and tugged on her mother's sleeve. "May I go show Scorpius the new piano in the drawing room?"

"Oh, of course dear. Show him how gorgeous you can play that composition you learned last week," Desiree bragged on and on.

My parents stood there like dogs and lapped it all up. I was pulled into the corridor and yanked upstairs by Violet. She had no intentions of showing me anything except what was under her dress. While she tugged me along, I tried talking myself into being turned on by Violet. It was hard. I had never found her more horrid than I did at that moment. How could I be expected to love such a icy, deviant animal?

"You haven't fucked me in weeks…I miss it," she cooed in my ear. That sultry tone to her voice was meant to please me.

I grabbed her waist and chose not to speak. I just had to picture her as someone else. I pulled up her dress right there in the hallway and slid my hands over her bra. If I spoke this would be real. I started kissing Violet's neck, ignoring her girly sighs and moans. It would have been better to hear grunting…maybe some cries of pain. But I could not harm Violet sexually. She didn't accept anything that wasn't in the mental Sex 101 handbook. I yanked her bra up to her collar bone so I could start squeezing and rubbing her breasts. I wanted to bite down into her nipples, but again I was restricted. I unzipped Violet's holiday dress and threw it into her room, pulling her inside behind me. I slammed the door shut and forced her body up against the wood.

"Scorpius…" she said softly, she sounded so frightened. The sound was more arousing than her entire naked body up against me.

I tore her panties when I pushed them down her legs. Without waiting for her protests, I pulled her over to that frilly…sickening bed with all the lace. I blanched and pushed her onto the smaller davenport in front of the mattress.

"Lay back," I commanded sternly and was pleased to watch Violet obey me instantly.

I shut my eyes tight when I started to fuck her. I imagined her to be anyone else at first. Slowly, she transformed into Albus. I could picture him below me, groaning from the pressure my cock had created inside his arse. To imagine Albus-, all sprawled out like I knew Violet was, was complete ecstasy. How could I write him off? The boy was the first hard on I had in weeks and I told him to fuck off, only nicely. Gods, he probably hated me. He would have every right to despise me. I was despicable.

Soon I could no longer force Violet's breathy moans out of my ears. I made myself imagine Albus cumming all over his chest so that I could spurt my load into Violet. She clung to me, whispering about how much she loved me. I was amazing. I was perfect. I was so far from perfect, the light from perfect would take a million years plus just to shine on me.

"I love you too, Violet," I murmured into her hair.


	5. Madness

A/N: Thanks for all of the comments that I have received.

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><p>The rest of my Christmas season had been a total waste of time. I spent a huge chunk of it alone, sitting in my room or the owlery, contemplating my sick, sick fantasies. Going back to school and trying to be normal was almost impossible. I faked my way through most conversations. Violet was more vile than ever. She wouldn't let me piss without explaining where I was going. It was mind numbing. But, I knew I had to let her actions pass without question. I just nodded. I accepted the cards I was dealt with. I was just wondering when I would finally snap and accidentally kill the whole lot of them with one curse.<p>

My first class upon returning to school was Transfiguration. I was nervous about it because Albus was in my class. My stomach was a bundle of knots up until I stepped into the classroom. His leggy blonde friend was there, but the seat beside her was empty. I let out a gigantic sigh of relief. I could only pray that I could keep my eyes off of Albus until the end of Turner's O.W.L lecture.

I took out my notes and started to doodle little owls all over the edge of my paper. I was the only Slytherin in the class, so I was stuck sitting with all the Hufflepuffs who were always too skittish to even talk to me. Turner had already launched into his rant about what kind of quills were banned from the examinations when Albus finally entered the room.

Turner cleared his throat loudly, clearly displeased about the interruption. "Five points from my own house, Potter. Take your seat!"

Albus didn't say anything. He just walked up to his spot beside the Ravenclaw girl and sat down. I watched as he took out paper and some charcoal. I had no clue he was into sketching. My fascination with him would probably never cease. Albus Potter was just too interesting. I shouldn't have been staring at him though. So I forced myself to look involved in Turner's speech about the grading system for O.W.L.'s. I wasn't even worried about the tests. I knew I would do extremely well for myself. Whether it would be good enough for my family was the only question. Nothing was ever good enough for them.

Fifteen minutes into class I let myself look at Albus. However, he was already watching me. I nearly fell right out of my chair. He didn't seem too happy to have been discovered. I heard the sound of his charcoal dropping onto the desktop. I smirked. So, my card hadn't made him become disenchanted with me. I knew the idea that began to formulate inside my brain was probably going to turn out to be a disaster. But why should I care?

Once class winded down, I knew that I had made my decision. I let everyone leave ahead of me. Al was making a huge deal out of moving things in and out of his ratty old backpack. I kept my eyes on his long, slender legs and arms. He was pretty gangly. Not in an unattractive way, though. There could be no question about his looks. Nor could I deny that I enjoyed staring. It gave me an unsettled feeling in my gut. I wanted to be normal. But that just wasn't going too well for me. Albus started to sprint for the door. I stood up hastily and blocked his path. Poor thing almost collided into my chest. Not that I would have minded.

I tried to make myself seem nonchalant. "Hey Al…"

He grunted at me.

"Did you get my Christmas card?" It was a reasonable question. If he had sent me that dreadful note I would have never even grunted in his direction.

"Sure did."

It bothered me how he didn't even seem to care.

"Maybe we could hang out tonight. Same place in the basement?" I asked, hoping like hell to get some kind of rise out of the boy.

Albus answered my prayers with a snort. "Uh, I would rather shove bamboo rods up my arse,"

My head tipped to the side like a curious dog. "That wasn't a no, so I'll see you around two or so."

I turned and started down the corridor before I would be late for Arithmacy class. I had no clue if Albus would show up. I wanted him to. But I also didn't want him to. If he chose not to come I could try to forget him then. But if Albus did show up…I had no idea what I would do. Probably something stupid, impulsive, and completely out of character.

After Arithmacy I ran straight into Violet. She pulled me against her and walked me down the hallway like an animal.

"You haven't spent any time with me since Christmas, love…I miss you," she purred in my ear like a kitten in heat.

I resisted the urge to push her away. "Oh I've missed you too. I've just been busy with school work…"

"Well we should definitely spend tonight together," Violet kissed my temple lightly.

My entire body shivered but I tried to ignore it. "I can't…" I was panicking, realizing that I had already made plans with Albus. Sort of.

Violet's boney arm slid away from my chest. "Busy again?"

Oh Merlin. She was angry. I avoided her dark, penetrating stare by fiddling with my mathematics chart. "I have to study for this exam…I already have a bunch of essays due."

"Always with the excuses." Violet started to mumble to herself, looking rather impish.

"I-,"

"No. It's fine. See you later." Violet whispered darkly and walked past me into the Great Hall.

I watched her cloak brush against the floor behind her high heeled shoes as she vanished into the room among a crowd of Slytherins. There was a hard lump in my throat that I knew could never be swallowed. Dating Violet was like playing an extremely dangerous game of Wizards Chess. The loser would have their heart sliced out and eaten in front of them. Unfortunately Violet had set it up so that she would checkmate me every single time.

After a few moments of trying to compose myself, I entered the Great Hall looking very stone faced and silent. I sat far from Violet at the table, sitting instead between Zabini and some third year with an overbite. I couldn't even force myself into eat. I glanced over at the Gryffindor table hoping to catch a view of Al. But he was staring into his soup bowl wearing a very depressed expression. That certainly didn't improve my mood. If he didn't show up that night then the fight between Violet and I would have been for naught. I glared into my dish and prayed to the gods that he would appear and give me a reason to be treated like dung under my girlfriend's boot.

Violet avoided me for the rest of the day. I didn't even think about going down to dinner after my Ancient Runes class. Eating just wasn't worth the boiling tension that grated against my brain. Instead I sat around in the nearly vacant library. I spied Rose Weasley watching me amongst the aisles. Her hair was almost the same color as Al's. It was funny they weren't siblings. She seemed very wary of me. That didn't strike me as peculiar, however. All of the Potter-Weasley's tended to look at me that way. Either out of fear or hatred depending upon our age difference. James Potter detested me more than anyone out of his family. The only reason for that was because we both played Quidditch so well.

I could only take the silence for so long. I left after checking out a few reference books for my Runes homework. I didn't exactly lie to Violet. I was already behind in a few of my classes, seeing as I didn't complete any of my holiday work. I had been too preoccupied, in a manner of speaking. I went straight to my dorm after coming back from the library. Everyone else was milling around in the Common room and I had no intention of having conversations. I stripped off my uniform and cloak after slamming the door shut behind me. The dorm was vacant. It usually always was until after midnight. I yanked on gray pajama bottoms and a dark sweater. The thing was much too big for even my chest, but it was feather like and soft. Much more comfortable than that horrid thing Violet had sent me for Christmas. That sweater was still at home under my bed where it belonged.

I tossed my books onto the bed and flopped beside them. It would be rough trying to concentrate, but I had to at least try to finish some of my homework. I just started to write my essay for Potions when sleep overtook me...

"_The most important substance for The Drought Of Living Death…is taken from the…left part of the…at midnight…_

_Halloween._

_Albus was groping and mauling my back while I assaulted his lips. Violet was an enraged fairy that threw potion bottles at us from the chandelier._

"_You will fail, Scorpius. You lying little pouf! You will be nothing…nothing…nothing…"_

_Albus pushed me away. He didn't look anything like the real thing. His eyes were wild and his hair moved of its own accord._

"_You and I could never be, you sick, perverted snake. I'm a Potter and you are a sniveling dirt bag coming from a line of other, no good, scum sucking corporate cowards…"_

_His voice was screeching as if he were speaking Mermish directly into my brain. I screamed, holding my ears as I fell into the floor. I began to sink within the stone, which had liquefied like quicksand. My parents stood above the pool and shook their heads in disappointment._

"_You've failed us…if only we had a daughter to make up for your mistakes…that's your fault too, for being such a difficult child…" My mother said nonchalantly to me as I sunk beneath the waves of hot stone._

I woke up in a pool of cold sweat. I was breathing too heavily as I strained to regain consciousness. Everything in me ached, right down to my bones. I sat up in bed and blinked hard in the darkness. There were sounds of snores around me. I hastily yanked open my bed curtains. I pulled my bedside clock closer, knocking over all my books in the process. It was almost two.

"Hell," I whispered angrily and threw the clock down. Luckily no one seemed to stir.

I slipped out of the dorm unnoticed. There wasn't a soul down in the Common room, either. I supposed the first day back from holiday had everyone tired and in bed early. That was good thing for me because there was less of a chance I would run into anyone on my way up to the basement. It's kind of strange, having to go up to get to a basement. Living in the dungeons was cool as anything though. Especially being located beneath the black lake. I found the Hufflepuff's corridor and waited.

There truly wasn't a soul to be seen. Even the portraits slumbered away in their frames. I was just starting to doze off up against the wall when I heard soft footsteps. _Albus._ I was shocked to feel my body almost radiate glee knowing that the boy was nearby. It was also a little sickening, consider the nightmare I had experienced just thirty minutes earlier.

"Hi," Albus muttered.

He looked silly in a purple sweater matched with pajama bottoms. The again, I probably didn't look any better.

I made myself smile for him. "I wasn't sure you would come,"

Albus glared hot daggers at me. "Why did you ask me down here? Especially after the card."

I sent out more mixed singles than an average girl, I realized. It was completely pathetic. I could feel my fake smile melt into my face.

"I couldn't wait to apologize…I didn't want you to…tell anyone. But you didn't. You were just as strange about it as I was." I concluded logically. I wasn't about to become emotional in front of the boy.

Albus only seemed more upset. "Was not. I didn't send you any dead things hidden in a Christmas present, even though I _really_ thought about it. You had no right to insult me like that."

"You're correct. I apologize."

"You suck."

I had to smile. It was real that time. "I just needed to be discreet."

Whatever I said caused some kind of reaction inside of Albus. He puffed up like a blowfish and blasted out, "So, you're a pouf?"

Pouf. I was right back inside the nightmare. Gooseflesh stung my arms and made my leg hairs prickle under my pajama bottoms. I came out with the best excuse I could find.

"No. I have a girlfriend."

Al laughed and followed that with a strange snorting noise. "And you snog strange blokes in basements as what, sport?"

I shook my head only to feel hair still encrusted with sweat fall against my face. "You're the only one I've…met up with."

"Sure," he murmured a few minutes after I had spoken.

"I mean it. Are you…?"

"Into blokes? I guess. Doesn't matter what I say. You're just asking me down here to convince all your slimy friends that I'm a pouf and then everyone will know and hate me. Well your too late, sir. Everyone already hates me. And I like it that way!" Albus said wildly. I didn't know what to say at first. I wanted to tell the boy how very wrong he was.

I stared at him as he calmed down from the outburst. "That isn't even close to why I ask you to come down here, Al."

"Then why do it?"

I rubbed at the back of my neck anxiously. I had no clue how to explain how I felt. "That's much too complicated to explain."

"Well you should start. I dunno if you noticed, but I'm not a girl."

"I know that." I stared at Albus sheepishly. He looked a little like a girl, but if I said that, I would never hear the end of it.

We stood there in total silence for a few seconds. The emptiness of it mauled my gut until I reacted. I wasn't sure, but I started to wonder if I was going insane. I had all the classic symptoms. Strange behaviors. Nightmares. Talking to myself...second guessing everything I did. Scorpius Malfoy was losing his marbles. And I could blame it all on Albus Potter. I swept over him like a vampire stalking a kill. I pulled him close to me by his hips and slowly slid my cold hands under his sweater. Gods, his skin felt amazing to touch. I could have stood in the basement and just rubbed his chest for eternity as if he were some genie trapped inside a lamp. I needed more. I had to feel Albus's lips on mine again. I kissed him lightly, tasting his mouth as I forced the encounter to linger. The boy was limp in my arms but he responded to every movement. He wanted this just as much as I did. It was rich and sweet and way too much for my brain to handle. I forced my tongue inside his mouth. I licked over his teeth and towards the back of his warm mouth. I slowly pulled Albus off the floor and held him tight to me. His nails scraped the back of my neck and brought me crashing down from my out of body experience. I was still a Malfoy. He was still a Potter. My madness had to stop. I had to learn self control.

"You're not a bad kisser." I mumbled softly. I let myself memorize the look of innocence on his youthful face.

Albus slowly exhaled his hot breath on my cheek. "You're dreadful."

"Aren't you ever nice?"

"No."

"Good." I smirked and left Albus alone in the basement. He was terrible. My tormentor. But I was into his brand of torture.


	6. Lovesick

A/N: Thank you for the feedback.

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><p>January came and left without anything of true significance occurring. I wasn't able to visit with Albus at all. It was terribly depressing. It was as if everything in my life had started to block up the free time I wanted to spend with the lanky, pessimistic Gryffindor. If I wasn't studying I was out playing as Flint's lackey on the pitch. And if I wasn't being abused by that ugly toad, I was being forced into spending copious hours in the library tutoring Violet and all of her slimy friends. I used class time to construct vivid fantasies, usually ones involving Albus sneaking into our manor during the dead heat of summer. I used bed time to live out my fantasies again, only with more privacy and my hand down my pajama bottoms.<p>

Listening to Violet or even hearing my friends speak left a dull drilling thump inside my head. The noise made listening to them almost impossible. It was hard to believe I was spending all my time with such obnoxious people. I had always known I had little in common with the other children of pure-blooded families. I wasn't sure why I turned out so different. The arising inner conflict was whether or not I could act out on being so unique from my peers. If I wasn't willing to make waves, then I surely could assume I wasn't so different after all.

I passed by Albus almost everyday in some corridor or passageway. He would stare directly at me. I just never had the courage to let myself make eye contact. A stranger knew my deepest, most guarded secret. Well considering the circumstances I suppose it wouldn't have been right to refer to Potter as a stranger. He certainly wasn't after hours.

Valentine's day snuck up on me. It wasn't until the thirteenth that I realized I had no gift for Violet. Scrambling to locate a present was far less severe of a punishment than hearing her whiny complaints. I settled on paying some fourth year Hufflepuff a few Galleons for the earrings she never opened from her ex-boyfriend from Christmas. I knew that probably seemed terrible but there wasn't much else I could do. Violet had talked me into going down to Hogsmeade for the holiday trip. It would be insanely aggravating to spend my time surrounded by a bunch of cheery couples. I certainly wasn't feeling cheery at all.

"Oh look, it's snowing! How perfect. We can ask Maribelle to take a photo of us by the fountain," Violet squealed in my ear as we followed the herd outside Hogwarts' grand front doors.

"Splendid," I said coolly. Not even my fur lined dragon hide gloves and hat could keep my body from shaking. I instantly envied all the single people laying in the castle still tucked into their warm beds.

Violet kissed my cheek and sighed happily. "I want us to get married on Valentine's Day…"

I stopped walking. Another couple bumped right into my back, the girl tripped over her own boots. I could hear her boyfriend's complaints, but they were odd sounding as if the boy were yelling at me through a long tunnel. Suddenly it was as if I were drowning. Married. Married. The girl wanted us to bloody get married. I had always known in the back of my brain that everyone expected that from us. But no one had ever mentioned it out loud. Not even my parents.

"Scorpius? Scorpius! Are you okay?" Violet's high-pitched voice rang in my ears like bells.

"Yes…I just feel a little dizzy…Maybe I should have had breakfast,"

Violet rubbed my cheek with her soft, silk lined mitten. "Perhaps we should go back to the castle first…"

"No! I'm okay…let's just find me a biscuit somewhere, alright?" I rubbed hard at my forehead. I felt like the word 'marriage' had been somehow tattooed onto my skull.

Violet nodded and tugged me patiently in through the rusty gates of Hogsmeade. Most of the shops had decorated their windows according to Valentine's Day. Fat cupids dumped chocolates and candies into huge bins outside Honeyduke's. The owls at the post office looked very unhappy donning their gaudy heart shaped satchels. The worst had to be Puddifoot's tea parlor window. Plastered to the steamy glass were gigantic gold and red hearts that blinked in horribly fast succession. Looking at them nearly forced me into a seizure.

"Oh everything looks so beautiful," Violet said in a flat tone that for her passed as true excitement.

I just shrugged. Gods it was like we were already married. I was still feeling dizzy from her words.

I thought it was amusing that Violet loved her recycled earrings. I mean, she had no idea of course. So I laughed on the inside. She put them on inside the tea parlor and groped my crotch beneath the table. My knees shot up so suddenly I nearly knocked our cups onto the floor. Violet didn't say anything for once. However, she did give me a very odd look that told me I wasn't faking my attractions so well anymore.

We left the tea parlor standing a few inches apart. Her lips were pursed tight. Panic crept into my lower intestine. I couldn't let her figure out what was going on. I pulled Violet aside from the village streets and into an alleyway.

"Scor!-mwhafa-," I cut her off by crushing her lips with my own. A few minutes of snogging later I finally relaxed my grip.

"I love you, Violet." I lied in her ear while stroking her breasts.

Her breath felt hot against my cheek. "I love you too…what brought this on? You seemed distracted before…"

"I'm just…worried. About the exams," I lied to her again. I never liked cursing, but, honestly, fuck the exams.

Violet nodded, a look of understanding shown on her face. "Me too. Well, best to get back to school…unfortunately," she growled playfully in my ear.

I forced a smile for her, my hands still rubbing her ample chest. "Unfortunate indeed."

We walked back towards Hogwarts in a skin chilling snow storm. I felt like a human icicle when we finally got through the large golden doors. Far off in the Entrance Hall, I spied Albus Potter wandering around the staircases. An idea, once again a bad idea, popped into my head. I scrambled for a piece of paper and stopped Violet in the doorway of the school.

"Do you have a quill on you?" I said between the chattering sound my teeth were making.

Violet looked, well, quite violet. Her pallid cheeks were tinted blue. "Yes…why?" She asked as she handed me a large black quill.

"Have to slip a note to Flint…bout' a practice session…" I grumbled. What I actually did was write out a short memo for Albus. I had to see him.

_Meet me in the vacant Charms classroom on the third floor tonight. Wait until after one._

She pulled me along after I folded up the paper. Albus stood facing the wall as Violet and I started to walk past. If he hadn't turned around at the last possible second I wouldn't have been able to push my hand into his front pocket. I almost started laughing at his scandalized expression. Violet was too busy commenting on some other girl's skirt to notice. My eyes locked in with Al's. I felt that cold shock rub against my skull again. His eyes were so intensely green. Like spring grass, or the color of an evergreen's new needles. They were gazing so hard into mine I almost felt violated. I actually had to turn away before Albus could force me into looking down. I laughed at whatever Violet happened to be chuckling at and prayed to Merlin that no one had noticed my maneuver.

Later that night I found myself unable to sleep. I tossed and turned. My stomach was unsettled, but that wasn't from my lack of eating. I regretted how weak I became around Potter. How could I be so reckless? Shoving my hand into his pocket in public…sweet hell. I blinked hard and shoved my face into the sheets. I was going to throw my entire life away on some pent up hard on for a skinny boy with an attitude. It was laughable. The craziest part was that I enjoyed every second I spent alone with him. The separation of minds was splitting me into painful halves.

After one I set off for the old Charms corridor. They had moved the classes out of the third floor because there were too many windows. Too many windows meant too many random objects shooting through glass during summoning lessons. I sat down after a few minutes of pacing in front of the one small window. I forced my breathing to return to normal. If I was going to continue this- or end it, I needed to be calm.

The door slowly creaked open. Albus looked a mess in old pajamas and a robe. His hair looked like a rat's nest.

"You didn't look so happy earlier. I wasn't sure you'd come." I said softly. I kept my fingers busy by twisting threads inside my pockets.

"I always look unhappy to see you," Albus said in a sarcastic, bratty kind of voice.

That was a lie. He enjoyed my presence as much as I loved his. "No you don't," I shook my head a little.

I stretched my hand out towards Albus and began to stroke his slender arm. Tight muscles flexed beneath his skin every time I let my fingers go up and down in a pattern. It was a little amusing that I could make the boy flinch so easily.

After a few minutes of silence Albus finally spoke again. "I…I don't understand you," he whispered quietly.

"What do you mean, Al?" I asked, not letting my fingers drop away from his skin.

"You…you do realize I'm not a girl, right? You say you don't like blokes, yet you keep asking me to meet you in places at night…I don't understand. I'm not sure I want to."

I quickly pulled my hand away. Potter thought I was some kind of freak. I sat up on the desk so I could be closer to him. "I…I just like kissing you."

"Yeah, but I'm definitely not what you're used to."

"Why would I hang around you if you were like what I've already had?" I asked him, watching Albus start to perspire despite the cold temperature of the classroom.

I felt so insanely frightened at that moment. The boy was standing between my knees. His hipbones were protruding out from his pajamas's thin fabric. I knew what Albus was. That was why he was so amazing in all of my fantasies. He was the unknown, unexplored territory. Everything about him made me anxious. I just had no inkling if he felt the same kind of desires. Probably…surely not.

"I do have a penis you know," he perked up suddenly. "I hate lots of giggling. I don't go to the loo with my friends. And I certainly…don't want to hang on your arm like a simpering idiot,"

I almost chuckled. I knew that he was referring to Violet. I felt myself grin, "I consider those positives, Al."

"Why do you call me Al?" Al asked me, his large eyes started to swallow me whole.

I said nothing. I had no more words left to express how I felt. I just had to show him. I slid my hands over his narrow chest then back over his bony hips. Albus was so beautiful. I wanted to undress him, but I knew he would never let me. Plus, I wasn't sure if I could handle what came along with tugging down his pajama bottoms. I stroked up beneath his shirt and let myself touch the skin stretched over his ribcage. I raked my fingers gently down his sides and rested my head into his stomach. I hadn't ever been so slow with anyone before. But I wanted the emotion, the tension. I was too frightened to conquer what I was so confident to picture when I wanked by myself.

Suddenly, the auburn haired boy gripped my thighs. My heart leapt straight up my throat. Albus began to kiss me slowly, but not my lips. He kissed the edge of my smile. I knew he wanted me to begin the actual snog. I always loved how easily Potter would give in. I kissed him roughly right away. I didn't want to play any longer. I stroked down over the boys thighs while biting deep into his neck. I felt my cock jolt when he yelped into my hair. I cupped his erection, blood pounding in my ears, when I almost passed out again just like that morning. I was about to move further than I wanted. No. Further than I could. I wanted it no doubt. I pulled myself away quickly, instantly regretting everything. Inviting him. Coming. Getting so…turned on. I felt so ashamed. I couldn't _be_ this person.

"I have to go." I tried to run out of the classroom but Albus made me stop right in my pathetic footsteps.

"I know."

Albus sounded so spiteful. So cold. His tone made my insides turn to stone.

"You say you like me…then you always leave me behind and make me feel like an idiot. How can you treat someone that way? It doesn't matter what the hell I have in my pants…I still deserve better than that."

He was right. I knew that. His dick hadn't made me move away. It was the bending him over the desk and shagging his brains out that scared the hell out of me. Or maybe it was the fact that I was really starting to care about Albus fucking Potter.

The boy pushed past me, "Don't invite me again if you are only going to fuck it up."

Then he slammed the door in my face. I gently touched the rough grain of the wood. The inner child inside me wanted to sob into the floor, but I held still.

"I'm sorry, Al."

Gods, I really was sorry. For the first time in all my life, too.

For the next few months I became a zombie. I couldn't look Albus in the face. I was just too damned ashamed. He had every right to hate me, even I wanted to hate me. Things became difficult between Violet and I. I didn't want to be around her unless we were shagging. By March she actually started to notice that I was avoiding any kind of prolonged conversation. My birthday, March fourteenth, happened to be overshadowed by a Quidditch match between us and Gryffindor. The most important match of the season. I wasn't too upset, of course. I didn't feel like having attention on me. Violet must have sensed that because she planned an entire birthday surprise smack in the middle of the Qudditch field. I walked out onto the scene wearing an expression of total horror.

"Happy birthday love!" Violet exclaimed, throwing her arms around my neck to force me into a kiss.

"Uh…thank you?" I mumbled into her sweater.

My teammates echoed a few happy birthdays, but no one looked too pleased to be roped into singing to me. A giant silver and green snake cake was pushed out from the changing rooms. I stared at it without saying a word. It was too embarrassing. I could see James Potter laughing it up with the Gryffindor players over on their end of the pitch. Speaking of Potters…I glanced up at the stands and at first was blinded by bright sunlight. When I managed to finally see, I started to wish that the sun had rendered me permanently blind. Albus Potter was kissing some short freckled girl. Kissing. A _girl. _Not only did heart stopping rage burst through my veins, but utter despair settled inside me. He had meant it…he really was done with me…

Our eyes met for the first time since that night on Valentine's. Slowly and kind of ironically, gray clouds started to blow over the pitch. I could hear the rumble of thunder in the background followed by people singing happy birthday in my ears. I wanted to vomit all over that stupid cake…it was over. Albus didn't look smug, like I had pictured. In fact he looked downright terrified. I watched him bolt away from the girl and head towards the exit. Apparently the sight of me now made the boy ill.

My team cheered and clapped me on the back. I heard my dorm mates wish me a good game. I could hope for nothing except that my inner rage would fuel me into blocking every single one of Gryffindor's shots.


	7. Right

A/N: Thank you all for your support!

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><p>It was safe to say I had royally screwed things up. Albus didn't bother looking my way for weeks. I deserved it, really. He didn't understand how hard it was to go against everything in you, to convince yourself you might not face certain death just because you fancy someone that wasn't chosen for you at birth. I hadn't expected Albus. I never knew I could actually care about anything that didn't come out of a book.<p>

One Monday I couldn't stand it anymore. The silence in my heart was frightening. I wanted to make sure that what I felt for Al wasn't just some ridiculous idea invented by my physical urges. After my advanced Arithmacy class, I took a subconscious stroll towards Gryffindor tower. I knew where their Common Room entrance was. Everyone knew, of course. You were just supposed to pretend you didn't have a clue. I looked up at the portrait of the Fat Lady. I never could figure out why she of all paintings was chosen to guard an entire house of students. Hufflepuff was the only other house with a portrait entrance. Slytherin had been smart. No one would think a boring old wall could hide such a vast underground living space.

The woman's eyes bore into me hard, but I wasn't about to move. I knew Albus had been studying almost every single night before dinner. On Mondays I would spy him in the courtyard when I came back from Quidditch practice. Flint had cancelled, which really sealed the deal for trying to talk to Albus. I felt as if fate were warning me to just get on with it. It was either try or never know. For me, not knowing was worse than rejection.

I only had to wait fifteen minutes. Albus nearly fell out of the portrait hole and onto the floor. His arms were full of heavy looking textbooks. He took one panicked look at me and began to race in the opposite direction. Not being one to take no for an answer,- I followed.

"Hey there, Al…" I started to run a little to keep up with him. It was obvious he had no intention of stopping for a conversation.

"Why are you out here?" Albus said almost painfully. I thought about offering to carry his books, but he probably would have beaten me with them.

I hastily tailed him down the stairs. "Do you think…" I stopped. A group of second year girls pushed past Al and glared at me. I figured they just_ had _to be Gryffindors. "…you could meet me in the Astronomy tower tonight?"

"I guess, why?"

The staircase began to rotate left. I gripped the railing to keep from tumbling down into Albus and his books.

I really didn't have a clear answer. "To talk, what else?" I hoped to Merlin that wasn't the extent of my intentions.

Albus was about to say something when I sprinted up to the eighth floor. "See you," I turned my back on him and walked down the corridor.

I sighed and slid against the wall. The place appeared empty, which was a plus for me. My dorm mates hadn't been too keen on me. Violet was completely enraged. Every conversation we had turned into an argument. Thinking about her…about everything, made me sick inside. What had set her off was a night not too soon after I had seen Albus kiss a girl…I hadn't been feeling so happy. It was like everything was starting to collapse in on me.

"_You what?"_

_Violet's face went through several transitions rather quickly. I couldn't believe I had let myself say it…but it was too late. There was no taking something like that back. First, she seemed angry, then came complete rage…and then, hurt. I had hurt her. Gods, I was a miserable person. All I could do was start stammering out apologies…_

"_Violet, darling…"_

"_Shut up. Just shut UP! It's obvious you don't care about me at all anymore, Scorpius…you…you "don't know if you can stand it?" stand what, another night with me? Can't be bothered from your precious studies to be with me for just a few hours…"_

_Violet wasn't speaking at me. She was looking all over the corridor beside the library. I watched as she writhed her hands together against her stomach._

"_Baby…"_

"_We are through…we need a break…we need something, anything, any body else but each other right now." Violet said lividly. The girl had no clue she had just made my greatest dream come true, not to mention my worst._

"_But-,"_

"_Goodbye…" she spat, and I watched her turn around and leave, tears streaking down her face._

_I had made her cry. I felt worse than miserable…_

And, I was still feeling lousy. I wasn't sure what to even do about her dumping me. Everyone was against it in one way or another. Almost all of my mates were on my side. Not that it mattered. Girls everywhere were giving me rotten looks wherever I went. Violet finally quitting on us gave me enough courage to go after Albus again. What had happened the last time left me wounded. Mostly because Potter had been right.

I decided to head for the Astronomy tower right after my mates went up to the dorm. I knew Albus probably wouldn't head out until midnight or so. If he came at all. There was no trying to convince myself into thinking that I didn't want him to be there. If Albus ditched me it would hurt so incredibly bad I wasn't sure what my reaction would even be. I didn't want to think about that. The tower was empty as usual. Astronomy classes didn't take place on Monday nights. Maybe there had been reasoning to my choice of location after all. I quickly pulled a chair over to one of the more hidden parts of the room. Shadows concealed me from any moonlight. I wanted to doze off against the chair's plush velvet, but I couldn't stop jumping up and listening for signs of Albus.

Midnight came and he wasn't there. I started to get nervous. My foot restlessly tapped against the floorboards. I was about to break down into a panicking frenzy when I heard the tower's iron steps rattle roughly outside the huge circular door. My heart jumped several beats up into the back of my throat. It might not have been him. Maybe an unwelcome visitor…I crept towards the edge of the shadows and put away my wand. I had lit it when I came into the tower. The door flung open loudly and shut in the same manner. Whom ever it was, wasn't being very discreet.

I watched as Albus appeared seemingly from thin air. He had an invisibility cloak? My eyes widened. Probably from his famous father. I watched him toss it on Sinistra's desk carelessly. It was kind of thrilling to watch Albus walk around curiously, waiting for me. I held my breath as best I could. He almost glided out of an archway. I crept closer, wanting to be nearer to Albus. He slid down one of the pillars and onto the floor, sighing the entire way down. I chuckled silently and felt the urge to sit in front of him. I wanted to pull the boy into my lap. Nothing to risqué…I kind of needed a good nap. I bet Albus wouldn't mind holding onto my chest as I slept…

"Gods…just let him not show up," I heard Albus mumble out loud. His words sent my sleeping fantasy shattering to the floor.

"Sorry to disappoint you, Al." I answered him.

I watched Albus's dark eyes look my disheveled appearance over. "I-ugh, you didn't…"

I laughed abruptly. Of course I didn't. I flopped down into a chair beside a few of the telescopes used in Sinistra's beginners classes. "I thought you would be the one to stand me up, actually. You have every reason to. I'm only going to ruin things."

Albus stood up. I swear his legs were shaking. "You haven't ruined anything. Nothing to ruin, right?"

I stared at him. I watched him flinch and look away. "Now, we both know that isn't true."

He bit down into his lower lip. I was watching his every movement. I should have been biting his lip for him. No need to do it himself…Albus walked towards the chair, talking while he was walking…

"I just hate when you would stop and leave me standing there like a fool," Albus said shyly. The moonlight bounced off his dark green eyes like strange mirrors. I fell into them faster than I ever had before.

"You are not a fool at all…" I told him, speaking low so he would know that I was sincere.

Albus Potter sat down in my lap. My legs tingled in sheer ecstasy, of which I hope he couldn't feel. His hand slipped under my school shirt and started to rub circles on different parts of my bare chest. He had never touched me like that before. The new raw feeling made it so much more exciting. I put my arms around his slender waist, hoping he would let me remove his shirt. Then Albus's hand froze on my abdomen.

"You don't have to stop…" I tried not to sound too desperate, like I felt.

The boy prodded my neck hard. "Violet's work?"

Fuck. I forgotten all about the many bruises she had left behind from sucking on my neck. Not that I ever returned the favor.

"Weeks ago…Albus, we broke up. Thought you would have heard that bit of gossip by now…"

He shook his head. "I've been busy,"

"Busy ignoring me…you always have your head in a book." Gods, I sounded like Violet. I mentally kicked myself.

"It's better than having my head up Violet's-,"

"Al-," I almost laughed.

"I was going to say skirt!"

I kissed Albus instead of replying verbally. My cock started to rub painfully against my school trousers when he started to claw at my chest. I bit his lip, just like I had been dying to do. Blood trickled down his chin. I licked every inch of it up without one word of fear or disgust out of Al. That just turned me on even further. I wanted him, and I didn't care whether it was in the tower or not. I needed him. But, unfortunately, Albus was a pouf with class.

He had been licking and kissing my neck. I grabbed his small, firm arse and squeezed it over his pajama bottoms until he nearly moaned against the bruises staining my skin. Albus pulled away from me slowly. My cock was screaming outrage down below. It was a wonder he didn't hear it.

"What's wrong, Al?"

"I can't. Not in some armchair…not in the tower…"

Hell in a hand basket, and he thought I needed to be more clear on what I wanted? I wanted the boy's heart, his attention…his arse to rub against my crotch…I tried to appear okay with his decision. I looked down and saw that he wasn't too far away from allowing me to fuck him anyway-, morals or no morals. I smiled a little.

"Right. You're right. I didn't know I would get carried away so easily."

Albus put on his best sarcastic grin. "Now Malfoy, we both know that isn't true."

I pinched his arse and held onto him as he almost fell out of my lap. "You're a terrible little puke."

He was rubbing where I had pinched, looking more than flushed. "Sadistic…ghost."

"Ghost?"

"It means your pale."

I ignored the urge to retort. "Of course it does. I'd like to walk you back to the seventh floor, Al…"

"Excuse me?"

Albus looked almost in shock, which made me back down a little bit. "Yeah. Why not?"

"Erm…you can," he climbed out of my lap like a child, then did something very un-childlike. He stared down at my trouser bulge.

I rolled my eyes. "You stopped me. Blame yourself."

"I blame you," Albus was blushing. It was the most incredibly precious thing I had ever witnessed. "I can't in a tower…"

"You're acting like a virgin," I smirked.

"I am a virgin…"

It wasn't something I didn't already know. I went to speak but Albus spoke over me.

"Is that such a terrible thing?"

"I think it's a marvelous thing," I put my arm around the boy's waist and tugged him towards the door.

Albus picked up his invisibility cloak as if it were an everyday item. "Pervert,"

I laughed while walking him back to the Fat Lady. We told jokes. I couldn't stop touching him, kissing him…Albus felt like a part of me. Like he belonged beside me. How, who knew. Our fathers had always hated each other when they were at school. They were barely cordial now. I was instantly depressed when we set foot on the floor of the seventh corridor. I swept the boy into my arms and kissed him deeply.

"I hope you'll meet me again soon, Al… I wish I had picked a warmer location," I said the last part as seductively as I could manage.

It obviously worked because I saw Albus's cheeks flush pink again. "Don't flatter yourself," he said as he kissed my nose.

I turned and left unwillingly. I wasn't about to let either of us get into trouble. Trouble meant no more nights feeling so alive.

The next few weeks made me feel free for the first time in my young life. I wasn't attached to someone I couldn't stand. Of course, I knew that feeling wouldn't last. Someone would ruin it. Someone always did.

"Oy, Malfoy!" Flint's dull, dim witted face appeared in front of mine as I was walking to my Potions class alone. I did a lot of things alone in those days.

"Yeah?"

"I'm taking your bird out tonight…jealous?"

I felt my eyebrow raise. "We broke up, so no. Now move." I glared deadpan into his listless stare.

Flint snorted, I heard the snot slide down his throat and I nearly threw up on his shoes. "I did hear about that…doubt your Daddy will approve,"

"I…my family is none of your concern,"

He leered toothily at me, "Word has it you weren't up to par at pleasing your future bride. Your loss."

I watched him gleefully walk in the opposite direction. Flint was terrible. He was dreadfully ugly. The worst part about him was that he was right.


	8. Broken

A/N: Thank you for the reviews/alerts!

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><p>Spring's arrival was symbolic that term. I felt new, I felt free. There was always the possibility that it could all crumble into nothing, but I was trying my hardest to just live instead of wondering what summer would hold for me. O.W.L.'s weren't even scaring me anymore. Albus was what I thought about nearly every minute of the day. Even Violet's friends couldn't bring my mood down. She was still angry. But she wouldn't be happy if she wasn't. So I was willing to let Violet have that. Flint's words of course brought me some alarm. However, nothing else too peculiar with him had occurred since then. We only saw each other during Qudditch practices anyway, and I was too busy to focus on someone I detested.<p>

On the morning of Albus's birthday, I convinced him to come for a stroll on the school grounds. His parents had sent him a small package wrapped in a silver bow, which he insisted on waiting to open until we arrived at the destination.

"What could possibly be in there?" I rolled my eyes at the Gryffindor's ridiculous guesses.

Albus finally shrugged. "Beats me…I didn't ask for anything,"

I led the boy beneath an old tree, down in a small valley behind the castle. We weren't too far from the lake. No one ever came down here. I only did to get away from other students when I needed to study. I also used to hide in the grove when Violet was pestering me. It was kind of special to me. Albus had never been there before. He kept walking amongst all the tall, slender white trees. I felt my mouth quiver with a smile as I sat under the oldest one. It was my favorite, a real beauty. At least eleven feet tall with dark green leaves. The shade was a little too cool for me, so I was happy when Al sat down close beside me. Just having his shoulder rub against mine made my entire chest warm over.

"Quills?" Albus's brow furrowed as he opened his birthday present. He pulled out one gigantic black feather pen.

I took out one while he read the attached note. "They can't be owl feathers,"

Albus took the quill from me and ran it beneath my chin. "They look like raven feathers,"

"There aren't any ravens that large,"

Albus was smiling, his eyes watching the grass. I knew that face. He always made it when he wanted to say nonsensical things that he knew were nonsensical. "Monster ravens?"

I felt my own smile widen. "You are ridiculous…but either way," I kissed his warm cheek. "Happy birthday,"

I handed him my present. A thick envelope containing my artistically drawn birthday card. Albus looked wary taking it. "This isn't like that ruddy Christmas card, is it?"

My eyes automatically rolled. "I told you to forget that,"

Albus opened the envelope, then the handmade card. I had made sure to use dark reds and golds around the giant birthday cake in the center. The photograph hidden inside the card slipped out onto the grass. He picked it up and made a face. It was supposed to be a picture of me right before my first train ride to Hogwarts. However my Mother never had much talent for taking pictures. She was always out of focus. I could remember my Grandmother teasing her about that particular shot before my Mother placed it into the family album. They were huge, mountainous books that took up a whole shelf in the manor's library. I was flaxen haired and very innocent looking. I still was, somewhere deep inside. Albus made me feel eleven sometimes…like a mixture between nerves and that excited feeling before Christmas morning. James Potter and Al were in the background. James was giving me an evil glare, while young Albus was staring at me in awe.

He couldn't even take his eyes off of the snapshot. "Who took this?"

"My mother. She's never been very camera savvy," I grinned. "Found it in the family album last holiday,"

I had discovered the picture one evening while hiding from my mother's friends. They had been playing cards and drinking, not to mention begging me to join them. It was terrifying. I loved the picture but I hadn't known why. I didn't really examine it until a week prior, when in my mind I assumed Albus and I were in some kind of weird relationship. I wondered vaguely if it bothered him that I wasn't formal about it.

"Did you mean what you said last Christmas? That you wanted me to leave you alone?"

I couldn't believe Albus had asked me such a question. I knew my smile had fallen off my face in shock. "I didn't know how to react…about kissing you. I wanted to call my owl back the moment I sent that bloody card…"

Albus pushed his chest up against the right side of my body. I turned my head to look at him, only to see his gorgeous eyes already staring at me.

"Kiss me for real, now." I felt his breath dance over my lips. "No cheek kisses,"

I smirked to defend against just completely ravishing him in the out of doors. "We're outside, Al…"

"Not in plain view, mind you. I agreed to hiking out here!" Albus pouted.

I couldn't help but laugh. That eleven year old feeling in me sparked up in all of its glory. I kissed Albus deeply, only waiting seconds before I ran my tongue over his soft lips. I wasn't thinking clearly anymore. Which was always my favorite kind of thought. I climbed over the smaller boy while sucking his tongue right out of his mouth. His nails clawed my chest. I resisted the strange urge to groan in pleasure. Albus couldn't turn me on that quickly, could he? Who was I kidding anymore? I felt down the Gyrffindor's chest and moved my hand over his crotch. I tugged down his zipper, feeling him shift nervously below me. I forced my hand down into Al's boxers and started touching and stroking his cock. He wasn't anything beyond average, but that was perfectly fine with me. I felt him stiffen as I continued my actions. Any moment I knew someone could come by and see me with my hand down Albus's shorts. I had no plan on how to talk us out of it, either. I squeezed his sack in my hand, tighter than I should have, but oh, Albus's moans in my ear were worth it. I looked up to see his eyes swimming with cloudy want and lust. I wanted to bite his lips and have him beg for me to fuck him into oblivion- outside, or not.

But Albus said nothing. Perhaps I hadn't been clear in what I wanted. I closed my fist around his stiff prick and began to roughly jerk him off. I felt Al's arms shakily latch onto me. I leaned down and bit into his soft, tender earlobe. I needed him to ask soon or it would be too late. When would we get another perfect chance like this one?

"I think this is a better present than a photo, eh?" I suggested into Al's ear.

I felt wet precum against my palm a few minutes later. I mentally sighed. Much too late for my dream fuck…once again.

"I can't…don't let me in my pants," Albus whispered into my neck.

I licked down the pulse point along his throat. Even if we weren't going all the way, there was never a chance I'd let his warm cum go to waste.

"I wouldn't,"

I tugged down Al's trousers along with his boxers. The boy instantly sat up, looking a little more than embarrassed. I wanted to inform him how precious he looked, but it really wasn't the time. I bent down and swallowed his small prick whole, sucking it hard against my throat. If he had been any larger I would have been too frightened to suck him. I wasn't exactly some dick sucking expert. Everything I knew had been from watching girls who had blown me. I licked the head and suckled it, almost jumping in stupid surprise when he came inside my mouth. It was bitter, but not as horrible as I expected. I enjoyed it. I wiped some of Al's cum off my mouth and dressed him. I couldn't let him lay exposed for other's to see…he was mine, after all. I rested my head against the boy's stomach.

Did he hate that I kept focusing on sex? I wasn't sure…he was such a lady. A nice warm breeze drifted in through my favorite trees. I could hear the wind dance in the dark green leaves. They were as dark as Al's eyes. Maybe that's why they had always been my favorite. Did I believe in fate? Probably not…just coincidences. Like that photograph…the trees…the constant need inside me for someone different…

"I didn't think I had a choice," I finally croaked out. My voice cracked from not speaking for so long.

Albus started to pet my head gently. "A choice?"

"To be with people outside of my parent's little realm. Violet and all of my friends…their families are connected to mine." I yanked out a few blades of grass and immediately regretted killing the little things. "I've been conditioned to be with her since I was born,"

_I could still hear her voice saying married…_

"I'm sorry…I can't imagine being in that kind of position…"

Sadness crept up my spine…I was a fool to just bury it. Now it was going to ruin Al's birthday. I snuggled into his lap and spoke into his thigh, "I just accepted it, you know? Never getting to make my own choices. I don't know though how long I can stand it all…"

I would break one day. I wasn't sure when or why. But I decided that letting sweet Albus hold me in his lap for a few hours wouldn't derail me completely.

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><p><em>Flint.<em>

I had been watching Weasley and her friend for several minutes. It wasn't too long before the little redheaded bint spoke too loud.

"Gods, I can't believe he would snog outside if he wanted it to remain a secret! Scorpius can't have moved on from Violet so quickly…"

Malfoy? And Potter...oh that was interesting...so he was a pouf now, it figured. I couldn't stop snickering as I slipped into the dark corridor along with the two girl gossipers.

"They were sneaking around even when Scorpius was with that cold fish." The freckled girl whispered.

Weasley looked shocked. "So Albus was helping him cheat too? Oh that's really lovely! What if someone sees?"

"They won't if your trap stays shut…"

I crept up close to them, trying my best to hide my new-found enthusiasm at their news.

"Evening, ladies," I nodded in the direction of Potter's cousin, that redheaded, stuck up Weasley.

I drifted into the hallway, enjoying their looks of fear. So Scorpius wanted to fuck blokes? That was all fine and dandy…but Potter? That was pitiful…I couldn't think of a more perfect way to fuck with old Scor. Albus was weak-, strange to think he had someone like James for a brother. No matter. It was time for business. It was a time to plan. I gathered up Martin Higgs and Bradford…they were idiotic enough to go along with whatever I said.

I waited. I watched Potter like a hawk. I trailed him after every single class…I would know the right time to pounce. The two sick fucks met every Monday up in the empty Astronomy tower…empty was good, I didn't need any witnesses. I set it up flawlessly. I told Violet to distract Scorpius with an argument…easy enough. I dragged Hinks and Bradford up into the shadows of the tower…and waited. Potter was even on time…he was so easy.

"Hello? Scorpius?"

"Why, hello there," I told my prey. He looked instantly fearful. Like the little pouf he was.

We surrounded the little puke. He looked desperately around for an exit…too bad that wasn't going to happen.

"We heard that you've been spreading some rumors about Malfoy,"

Bradford piped up from beside me, "Rumors we don't really appreciate. You may be a pouf but don't drag his name into it."

The boy went right for his wand. "Leave me alone…"

I brought my face close to his, my own breathing turned erratic, "You won't be needin' your wand,"

Potter went down on the first punch. Bradford proceeded to kick his side in after Albus passed out. It was hysterical. The bleeding cocksucker couldn't even handle one hit. I pushed Bradford and the frozen pacifist Hinks out of my way and started to wail on the boy. Gods, it felt good…I hit his side and felt warm blood on my fists. I couldn't stop even when I heard old Scor burst into the tower…

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><p>I couldn't believe what was happening. Violet was accusing me of cheating…we weren't even dating. I just stared at her and tried to look apathetic at best. She was unbelievable.<p>

"And you weren't half the boyfriend Robert is…he's the most attentive-,"

"You…you're dating Flint?" I couldn't believe how jealous I sounded. Maybe I did have feelings after all. Of all people, Violet had to choose him…

Violet looked wickedly pleased at my signs of despair. "Envious now, are we? You shouldn't have left me alone all the time, Scorpius…"

Now she seemed concerned. Her hand rubbed my forearm in a comforting gesture. For the first time in months, probably, I didn't shy away from her advances.

"If your really happy with him…" Who could possibly be happy snogging that git?

"You made me happy too," Violet kissed the corner of my lips. "I heard from Robert that Potter's spread all those rumors…you must be feeling awful,"

My haze of jealousy cleared instantly. "Potter…what?"

Violet's arms wrapped around me slowly, like thin, deadly vipers. "Yeah…don't worry about it though. Flint and his mates are giving Potter his just desserts tonight,"

I flung the tiny imp away like she had just spewed me with acid. She hit the wall, hard. Blood dripped down onto her pale cheek. I had just knocked my ex-girlfriend unconscious. Panic lept up into my throat…what could I do? I had to find Albus…fucking Flint, there was no limit to what he would do to my Albus. But I couldn't leave Violet in such a state. I sat her up. We were alone in the corridor beyond the Common room entrance. No one would find her there. She was alive and well- just knocked out. I cleaned up all the blood. There was really only one solution, and I hate myself to this day for choosing to go through with it. I pointed my shaking wand at her forehead and whispered,

"_Obliviate,"_

The memory of my attack against Violet slowly drifted from her bloody skull. She wouldn't remember the past ten minutes…which was good for me, probably frightening for her when she awoke. I never found out. I raced away from the dark hallway and dashed to the only place I could picture Albus being in at such a late hour. The Astronomy Tower. Was that why Violet had suddenly chose to speak to me? Just to keep me from meeting Albus and blowing Flint's plan? I became completely enraged by that point. I pitied any prefect, ghost, or even professor on guard duty. I only hoped that none would cross my path.

I burst into the tower already throwing curses. Flint backed away from a crumpled ball of cloak and hair on the floor. His cronies, Bradford and Hinks, looked positively scandalized at my entrance. Flint looked positively delighted to have been discovered.

"Oh how glorious. Coming to save your lover, Malfoy?"

"He's not my…you have no right to attack students-,"

Flint suddenly glowered at me, sweeping the cloak off Albus. He was unconscious…just like poor Violet. Bruises darkened his pale skin, blood was caked all around his cheek. I tried not to gasp but I couldn't stop myself from kneeling at his side. He was alive…just really beaten up. I felt under his shirt and found broken ribs and some kind of strange laceration. Albus would have a terrible scar…I stared down at his broken face and tried not to cry out. He was hurt because of me. If I had restrained myself, if I had acted like a true pureblood like I had been raised- Albus would have never became Flint's target.

"You have no right to shove your prefect shit on us,"

"Out." I commanded Bradford and Higgs. They obeyed me instantly and scurried away like the rats they were.

I faced Flint. Our wands were already poised against one another.

"Do you love the taste of cock, Malfoy? Do you both write twisted little love poems about your sordid affairs, how your parents would never understand and how society should learn to accept you, hmm? Does he know how ashamed you are of him?"

I never hated anyone more in my life. I could feel that intense hatred beg me to hurt Flint…reduce him to nothing but a slime covered, slithering worm…but I didn't.

"I do fucking love the taste of cock- Potter's, anyway. We don't write love poems- we understand people wouldn't get it. People like you. I don't care about Violet, my parents, or you. At least, I don't want to have to care. I dream about fucking Albus…the scary thing is, I think I always wanted to."

Flint just stared at me like I had grown a second head. He bared his teeth, ready to curse me, "_Sec-,"_

I laughed and shouted over his spell, _"Petrificus totalus!"_

My seventeen year old rival fell to the floor as stiff as a board. I did what I could do for Albus…I covered his body back up and sent a portrait to go and get Miss Pomfrey. Then I quickly obliviated Flint's mind so he wouldn't remember hurting Albus, or any of my words. Then I left. I ran and hid alone in my bedroom like the coward that I was. After three or so I retreated into the bathroom. I couldn't even look at my own reflection. I was jealous of Flint for stealing my Violet…I was angry I had allowed Albus to become a victim. I had wanted to much to protect him from me harming him I had forgotten about the evilness of others.

I pulled off my school clothes slowly. I could usually start to arouse myself by imagining being alone with Albus…but not that night. Everything just made me feel more ill. I sat in the shower stall for over an hour. I had never thought about suicide. To me, it was the cowards way out. But now that I was a coward…it was definitely more tempting.

Everyone knew about the attack. It had spread faster than the news of Flint and Violet's break up. She was smiling and flirting with me in the sweet way she used to before we became an item. She was the girl I had first fallen for…but I even felt guilty around her. I had harmed her, who knew if I would do it again? I couldn't trust myself. No one knew who attacked Albus. Flint was considered the second victim in a random act of violence. I had never seen James Potter more irate in my entire life. I never knew he could be so hot headed. He interrogated people at random. He spent his off hours sitting in the hospital wing with his brother. I wouldn't let myself visit. Occasionally I would stand outside the door and want so badly to visit him…but then I would become a suspect for sure. Between the known animosity with Flint and I, not to mention the history surrounding Al's father and mine, they would surely blame me for everything.

Al woke up two days after the attack. I had made sure to stay as far away as possible from the scene. Bradford and Hinks-, who had of course remembered everything, reassured me they would go against Flint if I wanted to turn that sorry sap in. I told them not to even be concerned with anything. No one would know what happened that night. I knew Albus would never tell. I wasn't sure how, I just knew.

I needed to hide from Albus. Just for a few days…I needed to get my head on straight. Flint's attack was a sign. If I remained with Albus, he was only going to get hurt. I wasn't about to have him murdered just because I wanted to be his boyfriend.

I stopped myself on the staircase. Was that what I wanted, to be with Albus? I gulped. Yeah…it was all I wanted. I bit into my lip to keep from screaming. Someone was in front of me on the stairs. I grunted, about to apologize, when I realized it was Albus in the flesh. I may have wanted him. But sometimes what we want, isn't what we need…

"Hey…" Albus said softly. "Why, erm…didn't you stop by the hospital wing?"

I didn't want to hurt him. But I knew what had to be done... "Sorry. Got a little busy."

"I'm sure."

I ran my fingers through my messy hair. I could try to be cold...colder than ever before. If I succeeded, perhaps Albus could hate me. Hating me followed the pattern of society. It didn't follow nature though. What I really wanted was to hold the boy tight to my chest...to promise him I would never let anyone hurt him again...

"Your mates, Scorpius…it was your mates who attacked me," Albus's voice cracked a little.

I sighed. I should have killed Flint... "I know that, Albus."

"And you put them up to it?"

"What!" I screamed. I couldn't ever imagine hurting...never. "I would _never_ do that!"

"I bet you sat with them today like nothing fucking happened," Albus looked more angry than I had ever seen before. My. Fault.

I went to speak but stopped. I had to come up with some stupid excuse...

"They're my mates…best mates,"

"Your best mates bruised me up so bad I'm basically purple. And guess what? They aren't going away! They kicked me and beat me until I blacked out! How'd they find out about us? Why didn't you…" Albus choked in the middle of his sentence. "Why didn't you stop them, Scorpius?"

I wanted to apologize...I wanted to tell him that I had been there. I had stopped them. But would Albus even believe me any more? I knew this could help him hate me...I had to let him be free of me. I would only ruin him.

"Look…I have no idea who told them. I would have never approved of what they did."

He stared at me in complete disbelief, as if I had just spoken in Mermish.

"Fuck it Malfoy. Shove your non-violent, peace loving fascism straight up your pompous arse,"

The words were not sarcastic. They were cruel. I absolutely hated it.

I made a face. "Don't be so uncouth."

"Shove your vocabulary too,"

That's when I exploded in lies and in fear.

"Did you honestly think this could last? As if I could bring Albus Severus _Potter _home and announce to everyone that he was my boyfriend? You know what Theo and Martin and them did? Not half as bad as what my family would even say to you!"

It was working...Albus was turning against me. "All you are is image. I'm so low to you that you wouldn't even come see me knocked out in a bloody hospital bed, but not so low to you that you'd be willing to suck on my prick?"

I felt myself blush. I could still taste his warm, delicious cum against my tongue.

"Everyone's right. I'm a stuck up stupid fuck. I thought you gave a damn."

He sounded stone cold. I had what I wanted. I couldn't help but make one, whispered plea,

"I did care."

It was over. I had killed what we had, and now no matter what happened...things could never be the same.

I felt myself frown…I begged my eyes not to light up with childish tears. "See you around, Albus…"

I headed downstairs, only choosing to run when I knew the boy was out of earshot. I didn't stop once I got to the second floor landing. That wasn't far enough. I ran out of the castle, nearly killing a small first year in the Entrance Hall. I knew the tears were there as I ran for the grove I had taken Albus to on his birthday. I raced for the tree we had sat under, enjoying the peace and happiness we had felt just by being alone together. I started to punch at the tree's white trunk. I hit it mercilessly until scarlet stains bled onto the bark. It took me minutes to realize it was my blood on the tree. I slid down to the grass and wept openly onto it. I was finally broken. My knuckles were broken- I could feel the bones prodding painfully against my open wounds. My life was broken…I had no choices anymore. I had taken my choices away this time, not my parents, not my blood status. Worst of all my heart was broken.

For hours I let myself lay silently in the dirt, wanting nothing more than to crawl beneath it.


	9. Love

A/N: One more chapter after this. Thanks to everyone here and on lj who have stuck by me. I'd like to give a notice that I will be posting some HP onshots soon and changing my penname. Cheers.

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><p>That May was unbearably humid. I spent most of my time alone studying in my dormitory. When I had to be out, Violet made sure her bony body was crushed to mine at all times. I accepted it because she was being less of a complete hag. She didn't even try to get me to fuck her anymore, even though we were technically a couple again. Unfortunately, I found out the answer to this little mystery a few days before the beginning of the O.W.L examinations.<p>

Violet had been late meeting me for our study session after my runes class. So I decided to go through the Charms classrooms to look for her. I found her, alright. My 'girlfriend' was wrapped up tight in Flint's arms. I expected to feel rage and jealousy. Instead I felt apathetic. Nothing fazed me. Losing Albus to that troll was more than any kind of loss I could imagine. Flint could have Violet and her woes. I had my own issues to deal with. So, I left without saying a damn word to either of them. And when Violet came prancing into the library like a cat who had stolen all the cream, I merely bid a hello and got down to reviewing our History of Magic notes.

More than anything I hated seeing Albus in the corridors. The few times we made eye contact all I saw was hurt and distrust in his stare. He wasn't even angry anymore. He just hated me-, plain and simple. And honestly, that hurt more than anger.

"Come on, Scorpius! We're going to be late," chided Farah Dolohov.

I followed her down to dungeon seven in order to take an O.W.L practice exam. It was a hazy, wet day filled with drizzling rains that never seemed to dissipate. Violet of course was too young for the tests, so she agreed to meet me later that night to help me cram for my first exam that Monday. In my hand I had a letter I had received at breakfast from my Mother. I was more nervous about what the letter would contain rather than my pretests. Before I entered the dungeon, I ripped open the envelope's seal and quickly scanned the parchment:

_Scorpius-_

_I pray you are studying hard for your examinations. Your father and I expect nothing but Outstandings from you. This summer you will spend half your holiday with your grandparents in Switzerland at their manor. The other half you will spend as an intern in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Your father spent quite a few Galleons to get you into that spot so don't screw it up._

_Good luck, darling,_

_- Astoria Mae Greengrass Malfoy._

It felt as though several lead balls had just dropped onto my skull. A bloody internship with the law department? They had to be kidding…I couldn't imagine myself spending a whole month shut up with all those stuffy old wizards. I shoved the paper furiously into my pocket and stomped into the dungeon chamber. A few people glared at me for making such a ruckus, but I didn't exactly care. I marched to my assigned spot and slumped into the chair. Plus, a whole month with Charlotte and Gregor Greengrass? Gods, it would be the summer hols from hell. They were the oldest, most vile people I knew. Everything was blood to them, even after all these years. I didn't even like seeing them on Christmas.

"Everyone, please take our your standard quill and ink. No Self-Answering, Self-Checking or other assorted quills are permitted," said an old spindly witch with an overbite. I assumed she was sent from the Ministry's testing faculty.

People glared at one another, as though daring someone to pull out Self-Correcting ink like an idiot. I tapped my quill tip impatiently against the desk. I had too many things on my mind for something like a pretest to seem important. Not only was my heart still in two, but now I had to suffer all summer? At least it meant seeing less of Violet…

"How did your exam run go, love?" she asked in her syrupy voice as soon as we met up the next day after class.

"Real brilliant…look, I have to go talk to Professor Turner…"

Violet looked saddened for a moment, but then she suddenly brightened right back up, as if she had just realized something amazing. "Okay. Catch up with you later?"

"Uh, sure…"

"See you!" she pecked my cheek and ran off.

I stared after her in confusion. Not for long, however. I did have to talk to Turner. I made my way up the lonely staircase. Albus seemed happy…he was always with his friends. I had noticed a boy with him a lot, one of the blond Scamander twins. I knew one of them had to fancy Al. It would be good for him to date someone unattached without a family sent direct from the Netherworld. I couldn't help but sigh. Sometimes, I couldn't help but to nearly sob. I had to do what was better for Albus. Not for me.

"Professor?" I asked upon entering his empty classroom.

"Malfoy, we just departed. What's the matter?" His eyes scanned my face. "You look more somber than I have ever seen,"

"Well…I needed to come clean about something. I know who attacked Albus Potter."

Turner looked shocked. I guess it was a little weird. I had never said his name to someone else before. Not Potter. The Potters were a group of holier than thou blood traitors and Mudbloods, according to my grandparents. Al was the boy who had stolen my soul.

"You…you do?"

"Robert Flint…as well as Martin Higgs and Nicholas Bradford. Although, they didn't do nearly as much damage as Flint."

"But Robert was found injured as well, not remembering a single thing…" I watched as Turner slowly put the pieces together. "The other boys must have removed his memory. How did you discover this, Malfoy?"

I looked away then back again, knowing full well I had just signed my own death sentence. When word got out I was the one who turned them all in, I wouldn't have a friend left in the school.

"I overheard them. Plus, Violet Nott informed me Flint had told her he planned the entire thing. Al-, Potter knows Flint did it." I rubbed the back of my neck, trying not to look like the tattle tale I was. "He's just covering it up to avoid more attacks."

Turner, instead of accusing me of lying, or even involvement, stood up and shook my hand. "It takes courage to turn in enemies, but even more so for turning in your friends. Thank you Scorpius. Albus's parents can rest knowing the truth."

I nodded. "Can I go now?"

"Of course. Although, the Headmistress may want to see you tonight."

"Right…" I mumbled and left the classroom.

My heart never felt heavier. I would be alone forever….I was sure Violet would leave me now that I had kind of ratted her out too. I had to find someplace to think…the Astronomy Tower was off limits, for obvious reasons. So instead I headed to North Tower, home to the Divination classrooms. I sprinted up the staircases, pushing past students whose names I could not recall. I barely heard their outbursts of irritation as I forced my way towards the tower. I found an empty room far enough from Trelawny's office. I managed to force the door shut. There were a few old desks to sit on, so I looked around for one less broken. Choking noises came from my throat as I fought not to buckle under the stress I always carried.

I loved Muggle stories. One of my favorite things to read were old books about Greek mythology. Ancient anecdotes made up by Muggles to explain the world around them. I loved learning about all the gods and goddesses, as well as the Titans. One of them, Atlas, came to mind. His eternal punishment from the god Zeus was to hold the entire weight of the world on his shoulders to prevent the earth and sky from colliding. I knew my petty problems certainly could not be compared to the weight of the planet, but I sure felt Atlas's pain. He deserved it…and so did I.

Before I could start to really have a pity party, I heard the door handle shake like someone was trying to get into the room. When Albus of all people entered, I nearly fell to the floor. I wiped my face and stood up.

"What the fuck do you want?

I couldn't believe how spiteful I sounded. I had thrown myself off, so of course Albus looked confused.

"Erm…"

I made sure I still looked positively hateful when I faced him. "How did you even know I was here?"

Albus's pretty, shapely face twisted itself in sarcastic cruelty.

"I'm stalking you, you buffoon. Oh Scorpius your just so bloody sexy I can't live without you! Insert swoon here, you maggot." He glared over at me.

I felt my eyes widen. I guessed that I deserved such hatred. I looked down, but Albus walked towards me a little. The anger left as soon as it came.

"I'm not interesting enough to stalk."

He nodded. "True. I found you because I had something to say,"

I sat back down and sighed. "Go ahead,"

"Er…well. You just cut me off. You had no right to do that…especially after what happened."

"That's true."

It was true. I had cut him off only to make it easy on my mind. Another mistake. I was paying for each and every one.

"I cared about you. You left to chase after some princess who you don't even really like,"

I winced. "I know, Al."

Albus bit into his lip and started playing with his soft, long hair. It was getting really wild looking. I loved it. I could remember how silky it felt wrapped around my fingers.

"Why were you so…upset?"

Slowly, I remembered my mother's letter, not to mention what I had told Turner. The overwhelming stress balloon puffed up in my chest like a growth. I curled against the window solemnly.

"I'm not sure…I'm not sure about anything anymore, to be honest. I thought I knew exactly what my life was going to be like."

Albus slowly approached me as if I were a caged animal. "I never knew what my life would be like. I don't think anyone is really supposed to know something like that."

"I thought I had some kind of plan, made just for me. I've fucked it all up." I told the window. My breath made small clouds of fog on the glass.

"Watch the language," Albus quipped, smiling afterward.

I couldn't help but grin at him. "How familiar,"

"I want to forgive you. But I will never forget that."

My heart twitched. Oh gods, if he could only grant me forgiveness…I had to have it. "I know. I am so sorry Al."

I opened my arms out to the boy. It was a stupid thing to do. How could he embrace me after all I had done…or rather, not done. But when he actually fell against my chest, and I could feel his heart beat up beside mine, I nearly melted. Albus made everything rotten seem sweet. Even me. He didn't know he had that kind of power-, but I did.

"You are such an arse," He said softly into my neck. I loved how his body squirmed up to mine whenever I laughed.

"Story of my life."

"How do you feel about me, Scor?"

Merlin…how did I feel? I wasn't sure if the world had enough words. Part of me wanted to recite fucking poems and spew Shakespeare. But I knew that would only ruin the soft moment we were in. A feeling crept up inside me. I could tell instantly what it was and I knew I was certain on how to answer Albus. I pulled his small, slender frame tight to me before kissing down his jawbone. I pushed his hair out of the way, (smelling it of course), and yanked his collar back so I could place my lips to his shoulder. Albus whimpered when I kissed him there. It was so cute…so innocent. I started to unbutton his shirt, something I had wanted to do for months. Albus was more precious than I had ever imagined. I stroked his sides while kissing all over his pale chest. I could hear his heart beat faster and faster…his thigh was digging against my crotch. I thought I would never get to hold Albus again…

"I expected words…" He finally whispered. He squeezed my thigh, too, which only made my cock twitch.

I laughed and licked around his right nipple, sucking and biting it until the small nub reddened. "I'm not good with words."

I couldn't help but notice his trouser bulge. But there would be time for that. I spent a few more minutes teasing poor Al's nipple before I finally started to take off his pants. I left them at his thighs and squeezed his crotch so hard he whimpered again. Albus pushed himself against me. I wondered if he knew what a little sultry thing he was? Probably not. I had visions of what our first time would be like, and this was never on the list of scenarios. But I could deal with it.

"You want more already?" I was surprised how needy _I _sounded.

Albus sounded the same when he managed to finally speak. "I _need_ more, Scorpius."

"Show me what you need, love…" I dug my teeth deep into Al's pulse point.

Albus made a soft grunting sound before literally clawing my belt off and throwing it across the room. He sat up in my lap and tugged my stiff prick out of my underwear. I gasped as cold air hit the tender, hard flesh. It felt insane to have him touching me…while sitting completely naked in my lap. My cock ached…it wanted to feel Al's tight arse slide over it again and again.

"I think you know what I want," He whispered shyly into my ear. I felt him shift his weight over my cock.

I didn't want to enter him so raw without any kind of preparation. So when he wasn't looking I licked at my finger before grabbing his soft, perfect arse. I could have spent hours just worshiping it using only my tongue. But I knew how much first times lacked in the fun department. I didn't want to tease Albus into insanity. I pulled his cheeks apart and wiggled my spit slicked finger into his tight little virgin hole. And it _was_ tight. I had never done much of this before…and never, of course, with a bloke. But I knew what tight felt like, so just feeling inside Albus drew a pretty nice mental picture for my anxious, stiff cock. I was so into rubbing and touching the tight muscles along his hole, I yelped when the boy bit my neck roughly.

"Gods, do you have fangs or what…?"

"Sorry…that hurt." he whimpered into the bitemark.

I wriggled my finger in him on purpose. "I like when you bite me…"

"Freak,"

I smirked at that and started to fuck his hole a little using my finger. I heard Albus hiss in pain, which clearly said spit wasn't cutting it. I managed to get my wand out of my trouser pocket near my knee. I muttered the spell Violet had taught me, and a thin layer of clear liquid coated my fingers. I pushed two back into Albus, who gasped in a mixture of pleasure and discomfort. He was whining and wiggling. I wondered what it felt like? I had certainly never done it to myself…I started to imagine Albus with his fingers inside me and nearly came at the mere idea. One fantasy coming to life was enough at that moment.

"It hurts…" Albus said softly. He started to claw my lap like a baby kitten.

"I know…but you feel so tight, Al, I can't wait to fill your arse."

Albus turned so dark red I had to laugh. I finally removed my fingers and heard him sigh in relief. I went to place my cock by his arse, but he grabbed me. Albus rubbed his palm down my cock, feeling the head and stroking slowly down to my balls. I squeezed the boy's hips, hoping he would know that I was in ecstasy having him explore me. When he cupped my sack and started to rub me in his hands, I knew it was then or never. Unless Albus enjoyed being covered in my cum…which wasn't a bad idea either.

I took his hands away and put the boy's slender arms around my shoulders. I prodded his open, dripping hole with my cock. Gods I could feel the heat of his tender arse just begging me to rip him to pieces.

I licked Albus's earlobe and whispered, "This is how I feel."

I buried my cock so deep inside him, I was scared I had hurt him. His face took on a look of shock mingled with pain. But Albus never told me to stop. I started to bounce him in my lap, letting him feel every inch of me stab through him again and again. I felt his nails start to grate into my back, which only turned me on beyond belief. I started to moan under my breath once Al broke my skin beneath his fingers. Blood dripped down into the crease of my arse. He tore into my neck with his sharp teeth and began to mercilessly suck on the tender skin. Everything he did only made me thrust harder, fuck him faster. I would make Albus mine from the inside out. I sat back a little, making eye contact with him for the first time since I had entered his sweet little hole.

His eyes were so beautiful. Emerald green and completely hazed over in lust and love…I could see the love inside him. I could even feel it. I started to thrust deeper, but slower. Each time I went in as far as I could to make him moan nice and low in my lap. He clawed and grabbed my thighs to steady himself. We never broke eye contact. I realized I wasn't fucking him anymore. I was making love to Albus. I couldn't take it, I came before he did. It felt amazing to bury inside him and release so much that it dripped down the boy's thigh. I moved fast inside Albus again so he could finally feel as good as I did.

He came all over my stomach. I yanked him tight to me so he could feel the sticky, sweet mess he made. I held Albus close, kissing his ear and whispering nonsense into his hair. Sex had never been like that for me before…I felt unsteady. Maybe it was the power of actually being with someone I truly loved. I did love Al. I wasn't sure if I should tell him…he would want to hear it after all.

"Violet cheats on you," Albus blurted into my chest.

I mentally sighed. Or not. "I know that."

I never stopped rocking my Albus. "You do? Why don't you leave her?"

"I don't know,"

"You are very indecisive, my little door mat." he said with a smile settling on his face.

I could only smile back and cradle the boy I loved tight against my chest.


End file.
